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Addictions to love and how it holds us back

Posted by Marie <3 on January 16, 2015 at 12:00 AM

Addictions come in many forms, not just physical forms but mental and emotional forms too. One of the biggest addictions I had was an addiction to love. This stunted my growth on a soul level as it stopped me from learning about self-love (a process I'm still in as I'm currently dealing with my physical addictions, now I've cleared my emotional one) and therefore stopped me from progressing up the spiritual ladder, taking me away from my trueself and path (Here's my take on the difference between real love and addiction). Addiction to love can prevent the one thing you want most from manifesting - a loving, comfortable relationship with ourselves and others. 


So what are the signs of an addiction? Dependency, dependence, craving, habit, weakness, compulsion, fixation, enslavement. Being a monkey to the substance/activity. That's the definition of an addiction. I would like to also add change to that list. Addiction changes you, regardless of what it is. As this is addiction to love we are talking about, you can change emotionally, mentally and sometimes, even physically. You template yourself with 'shadows'. Psychologically, an addiction is very damaging, especially a love addiction which can attract psychic vampires to you like a moth to the light, effectively templating you even more and draining you by playing on your fears of abandonment, rejection and obsessions. Love addiction in short takes your personal power away as you subconsciously give it to another entity. You are basically saying, 'Here is my emotional body. Use it as you see fit. Have the responsibilty for my emotional/mental welbeing'. It is not fair on the other person or yourself.  


Behavioral addiction is a form of addiction that involves a compulsion to repeatedly perform a rewarding non-drug-related behavior – sometimes called a natural reward – despite any negative consequences to the person's physical, mental, social, and/or financial well-being. This is what a love addiction is. You become needy, co-dependent, insecure and chase the one you fell for. You might do things that you wouldn't normally do for fear of rejection - whether they are sexual acts or financial or even changing your physical self. Falling in love is a high and extremely addictive - you'll be forever chasing that first taste of heaven, like a drug addict whose continually trying to reach the states of bliss from his first hit. But unless you learn self-love, it'll never come as really all you are doing is running from yourself and not learning the lessons you are meant to so the universe will place karmic connections/mirrors in your path until you do.



Giving someone your all is all good and everything, but without treating yourself in the same light, it's pointless. If you are changing yourself for someone, ask yourself is it really love? There's a difference between compromising and bending over backwards. Are you experiencing any negativity (like fear, low self-worth or low self-esteem) within the relationship? Work on those issues. Love doesn't hurt, our expectations and standards do, however. You shouldn't have to hide your truth, aspects of yourself or feel ashamed when standing in real love. Real love is open and free. Addictions are limiting and destructive. The saying, 'Nobody can love you if you don't love yourself', is true. Only give 100% to someone else if you can honestly give it to yourself too. 


The highest form of love is the love we have for ourselves. Once we open the floodgates, we stand in love and our personal power, give real love out from our heart chakras and change our lives for the better. The dreams you have become reality, ego takes a backseat, abundance comes through, your preception on the world changes and you change the preception of the people around you for the greater good.

Categories: LOVE AND LIFE, SPIRITUALITY, SELF EMPOWERMENT

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3 Comments

Reply ShamsLight
7:42 AM on January 21, 2015 
So true... Not only is self-love important, but it should be a requirement for all persons that are interested in datiing someone else. One should totally love themselves before being in a relationship.
Reply Marie <3
6:58 PM on January 20, 2015 
Agreed. It isn't a small subject and takes a lot of self analysis and I'm certainly no expert but as long as it makes people dig deeper into themselves, job done haha. X
Reply KarenW
5:54 PM on January 20, 2015 
Marie,
That is a really not a small subject to reflect on. Reflections of my own life; I have seen where the need to be needed was really detrimental to my pressing forward. I guess that could be considered part of Mid-life crisis but it does stand to be a reason why I did some very stupid things. I guess everyone who begins to question things within eventually get to this very real idea of being in love with the idea of love. It seems that this is one of those built in programs that keep on going like the energizer bunny unless you take out the batteries. Taking out the batteries is a step toward self actualization. Funny, how we seem to have blinders on until we have those Ah-ha moments. The we wonder what the hell we?ve been doing.