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SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE? SHOULD WE OR SHOULDN'T WE?

Posted by AstralBooBaby on November 12, 2013 at 1:15 AM

I have provided a very interesting link regarding the subject matter of ‘sex before marriage’ (below), partly because I wanted to open up a dialogue about the subject matter within our community. Most of us are pretty much aware of the fact that more people are opting out from the ‘nuclear’ or ‘traditional’ family structure and this alone has changed or is changing a lot of minds and attitudes , when it comes to cultural and social dynamics and expectations within our relationships. Traditional marriage doesn’t have the ‘lure’ and appeal that it once had nor does the religious community have the monopoly on marriage as they once did. Therefore, more people are indeed looking at letting go of a belief or perception of ‘living in sin’, should they engage in sexual activity outside of the confines of marriage or the ‘intent’ to legally marry. In my opinion on the subject matter, I am all for ‘to each his/her own’ but I would hope that if one should engage in sexual activity outside of any commitment; he or she seriously weigh the cost and be willing to pay whatever price there is, should something unforeseen or unfavorable occurs, as the result of a romp on the hay with a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, ‘jump off’ or prostitute (hey, I am not judging, lol).

I could really go in depth on this subject matter but I just wanted to get some of you guys to weigh in…

Do you believe in sex before or outside of marriage or not? If not, why?

http://www.sodahead.com/living/do-you-believe-in-sex-before-marriage/question-1531369/?link=ibaf&q=&esrc=s

Categories: RELATIONSHIPS, CONTROVERSY, BLOGS BY ASTRALBOOBABY

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16 Comments

Reply Maria aka Xc
7:58 AM on November 23, 2013 
Forget I even mention anything! Let's all just do what we will and let the chips fall where they may! What I have found of late is that as soon as someone makes a suggestion it is considered another form of control. Not everyone thinks or is capable of a certain level of human dignity. What I stated below was targeted at individuals who have no sense of basic common understanding of such. Yes I agree you cannot impose a "one size fit all" policy; so to each's own!

Like you said KarenW - "lessons learned!" As long as we are operating from a 3d mentality, expect people to behave accordingly. Anyone operating any higher will most likely not find themselves in unfavorable situations that they cannot find an amicable outcome .

Just another mere opinion!
Reply KarenW
6:51 AM on November 23, 2013 
↑....MARIA....↑ says...
Okay.. I am going to respond with emphasis on the title alone - period.

I think that there must be some crucial changes made to the law (yes law) when it comes to our choices revolving around sexual matters. Since most people are opting to not 'tie the knot" - then there needs to be guidelines, regulations and procedures in place; whether governed by the community to which a person hails from, or the good ole governing system we have in place. Please don't shut down yet! Hear me out!

Having sex is a big responsibility and the time has come for it to be seen for what it is. Many 'situations' can take place when sex is thrown into the mix - which can change lives drastically.

So, here is what I propose:

Before anyone enter into a relationship, with intentions to 'get busy' there must be an agreement signed, which will outline the following:

1. Before consummating (having intercourse); each individual should undergo medical testing to rule out any possible sexual transmitted diseases. Should any party fail to abide by this requirement, and if one of the parties contract a sexual disease, there will be a fine; calculated based on the severity of the disease in question.

2. On the subject of pregnancy. Before entering a relationship, each party must sign an agreement , which clearly outlines the ramifications and responsibilities expected in this matter. For example;

An agreement may have such clauses like:
a) Should one party become pregnant; the other party must be involved in the decision- making e.g whether to keep the baby or opting for adoption process.

b). If the male does not wish to have kids; then he must choose one of the options:

Either have a vasectomy prior to engaging in sexual activities, OR, should there be a pregnancy, be held accountable for the determined expenses that will occur throughout the child's life (18 years).

If the party does not agree to the above terms, there's the other option - the party then faces time in prison should there be a pregnancy- time spent in jail will be determined based on assets.

c) If the female does not wish to have kids, there is the option of birth-control methods (excluding the rhythm method), OR, have a hysterectomy. Should a pregnancy occur because of her lack to abide by said options; then no responsibility is held over the other party IF they choose to 'leave' the relationship.

..so, these are my views; taking into the consideration two scenarios: the woman's life and possible child; and whether male or female: the life or death circumstances that can arise should one or two parties become infected with an STD.

..............................................
I am very passionate about this - we really should not be depending on 'governments' to tell us what we can't and can't do when it comes to who we choose to connect with and how. I honestly believe that marriages based on written contracts came into existence as a way of controlling the masses. However, being a part of a 'sexual communion' (paper or not) does involve being responsible for your actions. Just because you don't have a 'legal paper' telling you how you should behave and what is expected of you, does not mean you've entered a 'free for all' society (anything goes). If more and more of us really understand how our actions affect the whole; then we will be more conscious of our choices and how they affect each other; and how they can make or break our communities - our world. This generation, and the coming ones are equipped with much more knowledge than say those of us who have been down that road before. There are so many ways of communicating available to you. Make us proud!

(yeah Charlie... I know you said don't say this... but you gotta admit.. I did ramble there a bit...lol).


I look at it this way. There are a lot of "rules" you'd like to informally demand of everyone. Not that you don't have some good points, however, there are pretty much similar to social and moral rules already "imposed" socially on our culture. There is no way to "make" a person do these things. Less likely if they are not in tune with themselves. I am no one's moral compass. I can't impose my will on anyone. All I can do is give a good reason or rational as to make my case why something should or should not be done. That is all I can do. I can't expect the person to comply. In theory this is a good idea but on the flip side free will is what it is. Lessons to be learned.

The only thing I have control over is myself. If I am in check with myself LOA will demand the ideals I have on MY life will work themselves out. Anything that I try and impose legally, spiritually, or socially is a form of manipulation and control. That is futile and I will spend a lot of energy trying to take free will from another. This always backfires. The only why to overt negative events is to focus on myself. That is the only form of control that will work. If someone ask about my opinion I can share, not impose.
Reply KenDaJedi
1:54 PM on November 21, 2013 
TheDarkOne says...
Or people can learn what not to do with sex and how to be more responsible with it and then we won't have to waste a bunch of time signing primitive "legal" documents and all that silly bullshit. If that happens in this society or any other that I'm In I'm going far out into the wild. It's actually insulting and demeaning to have people sign some fucking papers just so they will "behave". If humanity has any hope of evolving all this bulllshit about signing "legal" documents and papers has to go and people have to develop a inner power for RESPONSIBILTY and KNOWING how to conduct themselves in a responsible manner when it comes to sex, pregnancy etc If someone told me I had to sign a fucking paper and undergo some medical exam just to be in a sexually active relationship I would have the urge to beat the shit out of them and throw them out a 3 story window. This fucked up idea sounds like a good idea for more uneeded control just because some people are irresponsible dumbasses. JUST FUCKING DAMN THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE FOR THE DUMBASSES. TAKE THE DAMN GUNS TOO BECAUSE SOME SHOOT INNOCENTS. CAN'T BELIEVE IM READING THIS BULLSHIT HERE. IM FUCKING DONE



"If someone told me I had to sign a fucking paper and undergo some medical exam just to be in a sexually active relationship I would have the urge to beat the shit out of them and throw them out a 3 story window."

LMAO!!! wow I do not want to be near you if you ever do that in real life BUT I understand what you are saying....
Reply Maria aka Xc
2:00 PM on November 20, 2013 
In my initial comment, I had made mention of imprisonment of some kind. Scrap that. I am not one for people locked away in some cell like a caged animal; nor not to keen on the legal system we have in place either. My mention of there being a contract or some pre-agreement was in reference to individuals having these agreements among themselves with no intervention from governments; law and the like. In this case, if one party does not agree to terms or fail to hold up their half, then there is a trickling effect: if the 'guilty' party breaches the agreement, then the onus is on the next person in line - family members; and if that fails; then the community steps in to make the decision.

I'm really asking for it now huh!.... I don't think this is such a bad idea!
Reply Maria aka Xc
11:20 PM on November 19, 2013 
In addition; may I elaborate: a responsible man may scoff at the idea of signing some form of agreement, but on the other hand, a responsible man would not have a problem with this: to him it would just be a formality, because he knows that he would step up to his responsibility no matter what. With every cause there's an effect! Every action has a consequence.

When you go to your job everyday, do you worry and wonder if you will get paid at the end of the week? NO, because you have signed some form of contract. Your boss can't come to you and say "you know what, I don't feel like paying you - I know you have to eat too, but I'm paying down on a Mercedes!

The home you live in (those that rent); can the landlord one day decide that they change their mind and come knocking at your door asking you to leave? No - there's a contract in place

You go to the store to order a cell phone; are you expecting to receive a box of envelopes and a packet of stamps instead? No. There's a contract - sales agreement.

We all want to live in a 'free society' where everything goes - but along with that comes responsibilities. Some people 'get it' - and others see this as yet another law imposed on them.
Of course someone who is married don't feel the effects of this because they live their lives with this sense of protection, knowing that should their marriage break down; assuming that the woman is the primary caregiver, the man is still held responsible; whether or not he is physically there.

Yes many people are opting to not get married, but this should not mean each party is not liable for the part they play. See this is exactly what 'they' want - for the sexes to become pre-occupied with going at war with each other - major distraction. But it doesn't have to be this way if sex is taken seriously, and not taken lightly, as it is portrayed in our society!

Sorry to ramble!... Heck no! I was not rambling, but merely seeing ahead! And it aint looking pretty should things carry on the way they have been!
Reply Maria aka Xc
9:29 PM on November 19, 2013 
We're all entitled to our opinions. Of course any responsible man would scoff at this idea; but I am speaking generally about the dead beat men out there who still in this day and age have to be ran after to support their own flesh and blood. Someone has to speak out for the children. Too long women have been made to feel guilty; as if they don't have a right - like the outcome of two people 'getting together' and the outcome of such union is a woman's responsibility and the woman alone, should an unwanted situation arise - be it sexual diseases or a 'surprise' pregnancy.

Yes I would love to live in a society where compassion and consideration to say the least is the order of the day - but we're not there yet!

I agree that more education is needed in this area. They do have programs at the high school level (don't remember what's it called off hand); where students sign up to play the role of a mother or father, whereby a doll-baby is given to them; a doll programmed to take on the same characteristics and functions of a real life baby. That is just one example.

I'm curious as to how many women would hold your opinion 'TheDarkOne!"
Reply Maria aka Xc
9:24 PM on November 19, 2013 
TheDarkOne says...
Or people can learn what not to do with sex and how to be more responsible with it and then we won't have to waste a bunch of time signing primitive "legal" documents and all that silly bullshit. If that happens in this society or any other that I'm In I'm going far out into the wild. It's actually insulting and demeaning to have people sign some fucking papers just so they will "behave". If humanity has any hope of evolving all this bulllshit about signing "legal" documents and papers has to go and people have to develop a inner power for RESPONSIBILTY and KNOWING how to conduct themselves in a responsible manner when it comes to sex, pregnancy etc If someone told me I had to sign a fucking paper and undergo some medical exam just to be in a sexually active relationship I would have the urge to beat the shit out of them and throw them out a 3 story window. This fucked up idea sounds like a good idea for more uneeded control just because some people are irresponsible dumbasses. JUST FUCKING DAMN THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE FOR THE DUMBASSES. TAKE THE DAMN GUNS TOO BECAUSE SOME SHOOT INNOCENTS. CAN'T BELIEVE IM READING THIS BULLSHIT HERE. IM FUCKING DONE
Reply TheDarkOne
9:14 PM on November 19, 2013 
Or people can learn what not to do with sex and how to be more responsible with it and then we won't have to waste a bunch of time signing primitive "legal" documents and all that silly bullshit. If that happens in this society or any other that I'm In I'm going far out into the wild. It's actually insulting and demeaning to have people sign some fucking papers just so they will "behave". If humanity has any hope of evolving all this bulllshit about signing "legal" documents and papers has to go and people have to develop a inner power for RESPONSIBILTY and KNOWING how to conduct themselves in a responsible manner when it comes to sex, pregnancy etc If someone told me I had to sign a fucking paper and undergo some medical exam just to be in a sexually active relationship I would have the urge to beat the shit out of them and throw them out a 3 story window. This fucked up idea sounds like a good idea for more uneeded control just because some people are irresponsible dumbasses. JUST FUCKING DAMN THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE FOR THE DUMBASSES. TAKE THE DAMN GUNS TOO BECAUSE SOME SHOOT INNOCENTS. CAN'T BELIEVE IM READING THIS BULLSHIT HERE. IM FUCKING DONE
Reply SheOnAnotherLevel
9:17 AM on November 19, 2013 
I believe that sex with someone is a form of marriage. So if anyone has sex with another, to me they are already tied together in marriage but in terms of the legal definition of marriage? In my opinion, I don't think that couples who run the chance of reproducing a baby should have sex without getting married. The reason why I say this is because anytime the opposite sex have intercourse, there is a chance that the female will get pregnant. Its best to have that risk under the protection of marriage, especially for the female and baby because the man can drop his sperm and leave the mother and child.
Reply AstralBooBaby
1:44 PM on November 15, 2013 
KingLouisXIV says...
I do believe in sex before marriage but with its stipulations, i firmly believe the more reverence and honor you have for your significant other the more powerful the connection will be. It makes sex sacred and indeed special because its an intimate moment that's shared. So the more consideration you have as to who you have sex with the more meaningful it can be. Reading some of the comments brings up the question, What if a couple cant get married? Many of the people also worry about pregnancy, std's, their religion wont allow it or that they simply want to make sure the sex isn't boring.. A lot of them don't consider what other possible consequences like attachments, can happen, so they have multiple partners or lustful sex, and it becomes as common and meaningless in a relationship as going to the movies. Marriage for me is just a title and wouldnt change the way i feel about a girl but its more of the value placed on a "holy union in front of god" the commitment to one another. But like i mentioned above, there are couples that cant get married which is partly why i just view it as a title. Whats important is the love towards each other and lifelong commitment and loyalty for a union to be just as significant as marriage. Couples have taken marriage for granted too with the high divorce rates so it seems that today's younger generation has a much more relaxed and careless attitude about both sex and marriage. Ha ok Im done rambling, this is just MY opinion though and ill respect everyone elses opinions/decisions.


The fact that there are couples out there who cannot get married or don't want to get married, is one of the main reasons why I am o.k., with sex outside of marriage... To only support sex within a 'legal marriage' is another form of controlling one's sexuality and sexual expression. Sexual energy can be used to create more than just 'physical life' - it can be harvested to create a slew of movement, concepts, ideas, inventions... Sex with the right partner, can stimulate kundalini activation; open our psychic portals and more! So why should all of this power be shut off to only those who wish to get a legal contract for this power to be accessed? That's the rhetorical question here and something that we should all think about every time we insist that sex should only happen within the confines of a 'legal' marriage.
Reply AstralBooBaby
1:38 PM on November 15, 2013 
Obi7Haki says...
Am for the 'to each his/her own,' too

Back when I was in high school I was the type of guy of hoping to get laid by different women but after I saw both of your "THE METAPHYSICAL SIDE OF ABUSING SEX AND SEXUAL ENERGY," my whole perception about sex had change. I was conscious not to have sex with any girl that wanna 'kick it' with me. I didn't want to take any other people's energy that they had taken from other partners. Now if that wasn't that case and I didn't have to take in other people's energy, would I still have sex with different partners? It was a maybe when I thought about it but as I gain knowledge and wisdom over the years my answer will still be a NO. I want to show respect for my temple and keep it pure.

For me, I'm gonna be celibate until I met the right women to pro-create with. Does not matter if it's before nor after marriage, as long as she is the right person that I want to share love with. I know I will be challenge someday by my 'higher-self' to see if I will keep that proimise. lol


I am glad that my message about the potential consequences from abusing and misusing sex has had a positive influence on your life. Reading this made my heart smile and its the reason why I do what I do! Thank you fam!
Reply AstralBooBaby
1:36 PM on November 15, 2013 
@Maria -- For some reason my comment will not show up under your thread.. So, I have decided to post it outside of your comment box...

I have heard people make the suggestion of a written agreement being presented and signed before both parties agree to do the do... I think that this is a great idea! If both parties intent and expectations is written out and signed accordingly, then there would be no need for all of the drama that may arise should their be a 'breach' in agreement for whatever reason. Yes, I agree that sex can be really serious business and should be treated as such!
Reply Maria aka Xc
4:24 PM on November 14, 2013 
Okay.. I am going to respond with emphasis on the title alone - period.

I think that there must be some crucial changes made to the law (yes law) when it comes to our choices revolving around sexual matters. Since most people are opting to not 'tie the knot" - then there needs to be guidelines, regulations and procedures in place; whether governed by the community to which a person hails from, or the good ole governing system we have in place. Please don't shut down yet! Hear me out!

Having sex is a big responsibility and the time has come for it to be seen for what it is. Many 'situations' can take place when sex is thrown into the mix - which can change lives drastically.

So, here is what I propose:

Before anyone enter into a relationship, with intentions to 'get busy' there must be an agreement signed, which will outline the following:

1. Before consummating (having intercourse); each individual should undergo medical testing to rule out any possible sexual transmitted diseases. Should any party fail to abide by this requirement, and if one of the parties contract a sexual disease, there will be a fine; calculated based on the severity of the disease in question.

2. On the subject of pregnancy. Before entering a relationship, each party must sign an agreement , which clearly outlines the ramifications and responsibilities expected in this matter. For example;

An agreement may have such clauses like:
a) Should one party become pregnant; the other party must be involved in the decision- making e.g whether to keep the baby or opting for adoption process.

b). If the male does not wish to have kids; then he must choose one of the options:

Either have a vasectomy prior to engaging in sexual activities, OR, should there be a pregnancy, be held accountable for the determined expenses that will occur throughout the child's life (18 years).

If the party does not agree to the above terms, there's the other option - the party then faces time in prison should there be a pregnancy- time spent in jail will be determined based on assets.

c) If the female does not wish to have kids, there is the option of birth-control methods (excluding the rhythm method), OR, have a hysterectomy. Should a pregnancy occur because of her lack to abide by said options; then no responsibility is held over the other party IF they choose to 'leave' the relationship.

..so, these are my views; taking into the consideration two scenarios: the woman's life and possible child; and whether male or female: the life or death circumstances that can arise should one or two parties become infected with an STD.

..............................................
I am very passionate about this - we really should not be depending on 'governments' to tell us what we can't and can't do when it comes to who we choose to connect with and how. I honestly believe that marriages based on written contracts came into existence as a way of controlling the masses. However, being a part of a 'sexual communion' (paper or not) does involve being responsible for your actions. Just because you don't have a 'legal paper' telling you how you should behave and what is expected of you, does not mean you've entered a 'free for all' society (anything goes). If more and more of us really understand how our actions affect the whole; then we will be more conscious of our choices and how they affect each other; and how they can make or break our communities - our world. This generation, and the coming ones are equipped with much more knowledge than say those of us who have been down that road before. There are so many ways of communicating available to you. Make us proud!

(yeah Charlie... I know you said don't say this... but you gotta admit.. I did ramble there a bit...lol).
Reply KenDaJedi
3:53 PM on November 14, 2013 
Am for the 'to each his/her own,' too

Back when I was in high school I was the type of guy of hoping to get laid by different women but after I saw both of your "THE METAPHYSICAL SIDE OF ABUSING SEX AND SEXUAL ENERGY," my whole perception about sex had change. I was conscious not to have sex with any girl that wanna 'kick it' with me. I didn't want to take any other people's energy that they had taken from other partners. Now if that wasn't that case and I didn't have to take in other people's energy, would I still have sex with different partners? It was a maybe when I thought about it but as I gain knowledge and wisdom over the years my answer will still be a NO. I want to show respect for my temple and keep it pure.

For me, I'm gonna be celibate until I met the right women to pro-create with. Does not matter if it's before nor after marriage, as long as she is the right person that I want to share love with. I know I will be challenge someday by my 'higher-self' to see if I will keep that proimise. lol
Reply KarenW
10:47 PM on November 12, 2013 
interesting question. I have no problem with sex before marriage. When I was younger I wasn't as knowledgeable about combining spiritual energies with the act. Sex can be a very powerful way to connect with each other and the divine.
I do not think that a piece of paper. A CONTRACTUAL agreement between you, your partner, your church, community and the government is NOT required. MARRIAGE is a legal contract complete with the official paperwork.
NOT needed between people but it does have some social/legal advantages PERIOD.
I take a more serious approach to sex now that I am aware. I believe that combining energies can be a very beautiful thing also I am still human. Sex when done well is very satisfying.
IMHO, One has to remember that it is like plugging in to a data stream on your computer. You hope there is no virus or spy ware, however, going to places that you shouldn't be can let things in to your system that you may prefer not be there. LOA is going to match you up to who ever it is your going to toss hay with but is that really what you want. IF your seeking to grow but keep contaminating your system and bog it down then it is what it is.
Also there is a connection that people make on a spirit level. The connection just doesn't leave when you walk away. You are in a sense tied to the person in a very serious fashion. One night or not. This is why when a partner leaves expectantly because the died, cheated, or simply called it quits there feels like an empty hole inside. Energy tied up and suddenly ripped from the other person. Painful process to heal from.
I have explained spiritual connected ness through sex to my daughter. I also explained that one has to be careful because of the energy benefits or drains as well as the physical connection.
I don't think that I am anyone's moral compose I don't want to be I got enough of my own issues to sort out. To each his own. As long as it is two ADULTS that are consenting. IT is none of my business outside of this.
Reply KingLouisXIV
12:17 PM on November 12, 2013 
I do believe in sex before marriage but with its stipulations, i firmly believe the more reverence and honor you have for your significant other the more powerful the connection will be. It makes sex sacred and indeed special because its an intimate moment that's shared. So the more consideration you have as to who you have sex with the more meaningful it can be. Reading some of the comments brings up the question, What if a couple cant get married? Many of the people also worry about pregnancy, std's, their religion wont allow it or that they simply want to make sure the sex isn't boring.. A lot of them don't consider what other possible consequences like attachments, can happen, so they have multiple partners or lustful sex, and it becomes as common and meaningless in a relationship as going to the movies. Marriage for me is just a title and wouldnt change the way i feel about a girl but its more of the value placed on a "holy union in front of god" the commitment to one another. But like i mentioned above, there are couples that cant get married which is partly why i just view it as a title. Whats important is the love towards each other and lifelong commitment and loyalty for a union to be just as significant as marriage. Couples have taken marriage for granted too with the high divorce rates so it seems that today's younger generation has a much more relaxed and careless attitude about both sex and marriage. Ha ok Im done rambling, this is just MY opinion though and ill respect everyone elses opinions/decisions.