I often say at the end of my videos “continue to question, learn and grow” because we are all still evolving works in progress, regardless of how much we know or ‘think’ we know. I really do challenge myself to learn something every day of my life. In fact, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t learn something about the world, people; the cosmos or myself… This not only expands my mind and awareness but this keeps me motivated to exist on a planet that I still feel like an outsider to. There are many things that I have gone through over the past 2 or so years that had put me on the rollercoaster ride of my life.
As many of you already know, I am an intuitive and empath and the inherent sensitivity that comes along with this ability makes all forms of energy work, 10 times more intense! There are only two (2) people in my life, my sister and very best friend who have witnessed, knew of and know about the things that I have endured (both past and present). I would always push through my challenges, pressures, trials and tribulations wearing a smile on my face, when deep down inside, I may well be feeling and having things going on or happening to me, that is nothing to smile about. Yet still, I would push aside my authentic feelings and thoughts developed from a lifetime of a ‘habit’ that I’ve developed very early in life. The ‘habit’ previously mentioned is this: consistently putting the wants, thoughts, feelings and needs of others before and in lieu of my own. Now some people may say or think that this is a ‘good thing’ because it’s a sign of one who is very unselfish but being one who has lived this way, for as far back as I can remember, I will attest that having this state of mind can definitely be a detriment.
As one who realizes that just about everything that happens in our lives is being created or magnified by our own thoughts, energies and/or life path’s agreement; I have finally grasped something that one of my closest friends have been saying to me for years… She would always say to me; ‘you need to start knowing your value and worth because you ‘deserve’ so much more than you are allowing or realize’… Unbeknownst to me, she was speaking of the law of allowance… I’ve known this particular friend for a long time and she has been one who has consistently told me that I give away far, far, too much of myself, time and energy without any thought or consideration of the inner-imbalance I was creating as the result. She has heard of and know of the guilt and hurt that I would feel when I am not able to help or do for others (strangers or otherwise) who are in need … Somehow, I would take on the thought that I am responsible for the happiness of all who cross my path or sought direction or help from me. Why was I doing this?
What’s the root of these extreme cases of unselfishness ? The answer to this rhetorical question didn’t hit me until very recently and that my inner-child; the one who had endured years of systematic sexual, emotional and psychological abuse… He wants to rescue everyone in pain or in need because no one rescued him from his pain and long suffering! Yes! This all stems from my own projection onto others, whose pain and suffering that I see or feel. That inner-child cannot and could not accept His value because He was taught and made to feel that he deserved nothing but pain, abandonment and other’s taking advantage of Him. He believed that he deserved nothing that would bring him true happiness, wealth and abundance! I understand that pain and suffering are the elements that creates energy streams of compassion and empathy but where do I or we begin setting boundaries and drawing lines?
I’ve said it before and I will state it again; we are living in a time where we are all being forced to face and deal with our inner demons, struggles, secrets and shame. The energy shift on the planet is forcing it all to the surface and no one is exempt from having some residuals, be it from their present life or past life… Many will resist their energy clearing work but resistance will only make 'toiling in the fields' (so to speak) all the more painful and turbulent! You see family and friends, in the past two years or so, I have resisted my own clearing work in many ways because I continued to denounce and ignore my own value and worth! The aforementioned is not a statement of arrogance or ego – this realization comes from a lifetime of trials - tribulations and error!
Even considering all of what I have just shared, I am still one of the most unselfish people that I know and this will not change, but what will change is the frequency and velocity in which I give of myself.
All of the things that we ‘must get’ but ‘won’t get’ will come to the surface whether we want it to or not. Our outer world will attract, create and magnify our residual imbalances, not as a form of punishment but an opportunity for us to ‘deal and heal’… Given that many people who walk the ‘authentic’ spiritual path tend to be people who do not recognize that they or we ‘deserve’ wealth, happiness and anything our hearts desire – I especially want you all to heed my message… KNOW and OWN your worth!
Some people and ‘special interest groups’ have conditioned and taught the world over, that in order to be ‘really spiritual’ we should basically be broke, destitute and work for free, for the benefit of others 24/7 (a slave). When we believe and accept this way of thinking; we create this reality for ourselves! How many of those who teach these things, who happen to be religious or of the worldly influence, live a life of being broke, destitute and giving themselves ‘freely’ 24/7? The religious communities have billions of supporters all over the world… They have resources and billions in monetary means (mostly through offerings and donations) that 'allows' them the power to purchase and create programs, campaigns and build venues to fellow-ship, recruit and expand their ministry to no end, but why hasn’t the spiritual community done anything remotely close to this scale?
These communities roll into abundance because they’ve given themselves the ‘allowance’ to have abundance and their supporters accept and respond accordingly… There is nothing wrong with tapping into this universal right but there is definitely something wrong with teaching the spiritual community; those who suffer and are marginalized the most, that wanting the same things that they have and take for granted is egotistical, selfish or a sign of 'in-authenticity'!
Some people tend to see someone such as myself as one who has it all figured out, not because I have ever stated this about myself - I am 'realistic' enough to comprehend that this is not, nor will ever be the case for me or anyone else having a human experience... On the contrary, I have publicly stated that I too am still learning and growing and what I have just shared with you in this blog, is just another lesson learned the hard way – I ‘deserve’ real peace, happiness and abundance because this is the Almighty Creator ‘s decree for US ALL.
Many of the oppressive and MANipulative forces around us have figured this out and they revel in their abundance but we who have been conditioned or abused to a point of submission have yet to tap into ours.... We must really ‘grasp this’concept! The Almighty Creator energy force cannot or will not ‘make us’ see our worth and value – we must come to this ULTRAstanding on our own time and accord. So, if you haven't begun seeing all of what I have shared in this regard, let us begin doing so right now!