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FIRST LOVE OR FIRST CRUSH?


Although I have never been in love, I have had very intense crushes… My very first ‘intense’ crush was with a young lady who used to sit next to me in my English class when I was in senior high school; 10th grade. The young lady who I had a serious crush on, name is Bernadette and she was very down-to-earth, smart, beautiful (both inside and out) and adorable. Bernadette was pretty popular for the very reasons that I had previously listed… I used to think about her all of the time; wondering what she was doing at home or at any moment I would think of her. I would literally feel a certain kind of ‘joy’ whenever I would think about her and whenever she would come around… She seemed ‘unreal’ and ‘heavenly’ to me… Whenever I was next to her, I would feel joy but some serious nervousness at the same time. I would literally start sweating; sweaty palms and all, lol! I remember being so shy and insecure, that I couldn’t speak directly to her most of the time. After a lot of thought and consideration; a day had come when I had decided that I would write her and ask her out on a date. Now mind you, I gave her this letter in class as she sat right next to me,(yes, I was that shy and insecure, lol)... Anyway, she wrote me back and said that she would go out with me but only after I would go to church with her… Now, although I wasn’t very confident in who I was in the field of dating and relationships as a person -- I was pretty confident in my position on religion and church and quite frankly, I wasn’t ‘feeling’ it BUT, I was so enamored by Bernadette, I really, really considered accepting religion again, just to be near her… Well, to make a long story short, I never got to go to church with her and we never went out on a date. Somewhere not long after I had expressed an interest in her, I realized and accepted the fact that she wasn’t attracted to me in the same way that I was attracted to her. Nonetheless, she will always be my very first ‘intense’ crush! Indeed, without a doubt, if I had pursued and she had reciprocated my intention and interest – she would have definitely been my very first love.


Now that I have briefly shared my story in this regard, I am curious – who was your very first crush or your first love and what magnetically created this attraction for you?

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