Hi, Im new to this fourm and I guess i'd like to introduce myself and type about everything?
" I just dont know where to start" But My name is dustyn and not even a year ago I was diagnosed with narcolepsy. Its a neurological disorder that deals with sleep. If i explained that itself would take up more than pages, so to keep things simple i'll say that: it has you super sleepy and exhausted all the time, doctors overloading you on SSRI and Stimulant drugs to keep you awake, and lots and lots of vivid dreams.
Because of narcolepsy I now enter REM sleep state within 1-5 minutes of falling asleep. Its more controlled with the drugs but take me off of them and I could and would sleep all day long. When I first started getting these symtoms around this same time last year they wern't too sudden and were subtle. It would just be naps, naps and more naps. Eventually My Cataplexy symtoms started to surface.
Cataplexy is usually accompanied by Narcolepsy and it involves sleep state mixing with dream state related things. So that itself means that anytime I experience almost any kind of emotion; wether it be anger, shock, anxiousness, laughter, suprise, all of the muscles in my body will become paralyzed.
It can happen anywhere and I am fully concious but unable to move. It can be in the midlest form of a funny thought and my knees buckle to me just thinking about how im scared to walk in a gas station because of this disorder and me proceeding to stumble around appearing drunk and high. But, thats that I can explain so much more about these disorders in a different post but I guess I should get to the point right?
So, when I first started dealing with all of this before and after I was diagnosed I started to become pretty depressed. Obviously you can see why but, naturally I would say i'm a little carefree about almost anything and so I kind of knew that it was what it was and there wasnt much else to accept. So I did and dealt with it, in school everywhere.
The year I was diagnosed was the year I also really got into dream related topics. I have always been a supersticious person from a very young age. I would read about ghost stories and thigns like that and look into peoples "real life expereinces". Now everynow and then I would come across "OBE" and "Astral Projection" stories while browsing but at the time I was interested more in ghost and paranormal related things so I didnt really bother to read them.
Ironically, at least in my case this same time last year is when I really got into translating dreams and learning to lucid dream which I guess would have come in handy for a sleep disorder like mine. "If only I had remembered to use them" Also around that time was the first time I ever tried to astral project. I dont remmeber everything too much but, I remember from the ghost stories and what not about leaving the body and so I decided I would give it a try.
I figured that my mind could naturally figure out how to do it and all I had to do was get comfrtorable and so I did. I think I fell asleep, but between being asleep and waking up I remember feeling what was almost like a hand grabbing me from by "back area" as if it were trying to pull me back out of my body.
I didnt let it bother me too much but dont get confused!, Im a really paranoid and easily frightneded person and it would eventually come to show.
So lets fast forward back into the future when I had learned that I now had Narcolpesy and Cataplexy. I would fall asleep all the time any time any place. I would have like 5 dreams in those 3 minutes that I was alseep. Not too mention all the different drugs I had to go through to figure out whast worked and what didnt.
Now maybe 3 or 4 months ago due to "anger issues" with my parents who I would say just didnt understand what I was going through. Her taking away medications and what not I was taken off of one of the drugs I was using. Now I was really becomeing more paranoid and sleepless. These are the drugs that keep me from becoming a walking lump of jello. Its hard to do much when your body gets paralyzed because you expereince emotion of any kind.
Now heres where things take off ( Sorry for the long story). My mom had rented the movie insidious earlier that year and ever since I saw it I just wasnt the same. Some of the things just scared me so much in that movie. So sitting at home on the computer one night I remembered that movie and just started to wonder about things. So I gathered up my courages and started typing things into google. "to understand the movie more I guessed?"
Within an hour later I was into deep thought reading about a mans experiences in the astral. Stories of: a higher self that would talk to him in his head and give him advice. Silver Cords, and other things astral. ( I wish iI remmebered what it was that I read, I think it was a book that the man wrote about his expereiences")
Either way that night going into bed it was a fact that I had done plenty of reading on astral projection. Due to my previouse research into sleep and even the brain itself, ( Narcolepsy and other things really get you involved) I kind of knew that night that I would either have endless "vivid" nightmares about insidious and astral projection. I was scared to go to sleep.
I knew that wether it be the fact that I wouldnt stop thinking about it drugs, reality, or the hallucinagetic symtoms of my disorder that something was going to happen that night. I remember waking up so many times during the night. I would turn the TV on to keep myself calm and distracted from my thoughts. I would eventually fall asleep and dream. I dont recall them too well but there was something about it, and lots of involvment with dream people.
( and my dreams with narcolepsy are so "different" then before its like reality and my dream life both get involved and so much I wish i could go into it right now but maybe another time :)" )
By this point it hadnt even been 3:00 yet though I had gone to bed around 8 or 9. So this parnanoid pattern continued throughout the night. Then it happened! I woke up and looked over at to my clock and realized it was 3:00 in the morning!
( Due to my past obessesive reading about the supernatural i remembered that 3:00 in the morning was supposed to be a supernatural time of the night when demons walked around and what not)
That was enough to scare me out of my body" heh.
(Its weird too because I remember the moment before and the moment after my OBE but the OBE itself which is still vivid in my mind is just, "faded". )
But anyway: I got so scared from looking at the clock that every thought of anything paranormal flooded through my mind with the last ones being OBE related. The TV screen was on and appeared to start glowing brighter. I felt my body almsot vibrating in a way or buzzing? As that was happening my final thought was " This is it , im scared, "
(and like I said I'd done a lot of resaerch so my mind was flooding with " visuals and emotions and different ways to leave the body and its almost like saying dont think about something. You will think about it! )
The vibrating just got more intense and then I remembered what felt like a jolt, like I was pulled up from the chest. Just pulled up! I was floating twoards the ceiling but, i dont thiink i remmeber the ceiling. I felt weird... I Remember seeing my hands in front of me just " going with the flow" if that makes sense. I didnt feel weight? I also remember screaming but , there was no sound. I tried to scream as I was floating upwards it seemed but I couldnt. I wanted to close my eyes but I think they were already closed.
My throat or chest I think felt like it was on fire. The difference is even though it felt like it was on fire it didnt hurt. I would say its like feeling the burn of a fire without the pain? I was aware of everythign around me but at the same time i wasnt. " As I type this now I can feel the thought coming back even more" It was just me in my own space. But I was in a bigger space at the same time?? Its hard to explain I guess sorry? heh
Anyway let me tell you that all this was happening in what must have been 5 or 6 seconds. The longest 5 or 6 seconds of my life. I was freaked out and scared the whole time by they way. I was screaming " trying to scream" the whole time. While I put effort to bring every though about returning back to the body in existence. And by doing that I guess I had something to concentrate on and I was pretty calm in that sense. Its werid , its like I was so freaked out and scared but Extremely calm at the same time if thats what it would take to no longer be freaked out and scared.
I felt myself sinking into my body while simutanoulsy screaming and as I returned I felt my clsoed eyes open? I think? All the silence turned to noise and I was screaming as loud as possible. Even though I was back in my body now I still couldnt scream because of my cataplexy. It started out as a scream but eventually became quiet mumbles and moans of me just screaming. " I guess I could say I was just trying to verify that i was back in reality, that this still isnt happeneing, that my mom could hear me and at least call out. " It was me trying to get reassurance. I had been waking myself up from my sleep with my screams a lot the months before and after this event.
(I would say I did that to let myself know I wasnt dreaming anymore because they were vivid and sometimes I couldnt tell the difference. My focus had turned to Narcolepsy so much and I forgot that i could Lucid dream. I remember when I used to lucid dream that the first thing I would do was Fly out of the room. Just jump into the air, and the flying was so intense that I guess I couldnt concentrate and I would either go into blackness or just fall into the ground. Before I fell i would always Make sure I fell "into" the ground and not "on it" and from there I would land into a different scene or back onto my bed.)
It had become a reflex almost, whenever I got scared in a dream I would remeber Fly, and go somewhere completelty different. Im shivereing right now as I type this.
Anyway back to the OBE sorry, heh. But anyway from the moment I was back in my body and mumbling trying to make out words I felt like there was no way that was a dream. Yeah I know my dreams were so vivid, even when they put my on drugs that made my dreams more vivid after that. But... I dont know, too much to type... I do rememebr that I was super scared to go back to sleep from that moment on. But I was sleepy so after trying to keep myself awake for a few hours I decided to go to my moms and try to sleep for the next 2 hours before I would wake up for school. I was even scared to walk back into my room and get dressed.
That 6 second expereince was the only thing on my mind for who knows I mean im still talking about it right now right? I slept in my moms room for maybe the next 2 days and im 15 years old.
If it hadnt been for something that happens later on I would maybe still be sleeping in her room. I'll write that in the enxt post I guess because I can tell this one seems to be long.
That was my first OBE that I remember. This whole Narcolpesy has been escalating since it stareted. This experience just shook my reality and me not ebing able to let it go had got me looking into it even more. I just had to find out what was going on. The truth. I just have this sense that Everything happened now for a reason maybe? The narcolepsy and cataplexy. I hated it and wanted it gone but now I almost want it to get worse! lol I feel like everything has led up to another to get me where I am now.
After I was able to calm down I became even more aware of these astral expereinces. Maybe 2 months ago I remember falling back into my body and I dont know if it was my voice or another voice , or maybe just anotehr voice that felt like my voice. But it was guiding me back into my body and telling me something about " staying calm and just let yourself fall back into your body"
I promise you it just is too evident in my life to ignore now. It just happens more and ... After that 6 second Experience iv'e been reading and researching and everything. This is how I managed to come into AstralBooBabys videos. It makes sense.
I still am scared to astral project , but my curiosity just keeps getting bigger. I'm extremely scared to do it at night. I might attempt during the day evey now and then. I really do think Insidious left a scar on me. Entity interaction seems to be the scariest thing right now.
But my dreams are just crazy right now. Reccurring themes? Also I feel like... I have a whole different reality. I feel like my dreams are now starting to become a reality. So much to say...
I just want answers, I want to hear your experiences, I want advice, I want someone to say " hey what your going through is real" To point out the things they notice.
Does any of this mean anything to you? Does it make sense? Have any of you gone through something like this? Thanks for bearing with me, Its my first post and it was a long one, so thanks.