How many of us have met someone who expressing an interest in ‘getting to know’ us for the possibility to court; to date or romance, only to find out later that the individual was actually playing on our vulnerabilities for either sex or something else of personal gain of some sort? There are a lot of parasites, users and abusers out there in this regard and for this reason, we ALL need to be a little more mindful and discerning if/when we come across anyone who is expressing a ‘romantic’ interest in us. Within this blog, I would like to list some very simple tips on how to tell if someone is genuinely interested in getting to know or connect with ‘you’... The best time to know if one is generally interested in ‘us’ for ‘us’ is at the very beginning of the ‘meet and greet’ and the signals and signs will certainly prevail throughout the duration of your interactions with him/her… Therefore, it is most important that we be MINDFUL of what to the person is ‘showing’ you above the things that they are saying and you just might void yourself of falling into the category of just another person ‘used’ and ‘abused’ for another’s personal and selfish gain.
THEY MAY NOT REALLY BE INTERESTED IN YOU IF…
1. She/he is always steering the conversation into superficial subject matters such as one’s physicality, sexuality; bedroom behavior, social status, money or gossip.
2. She/he consistently steers the dialog about them; their lives, wants and interests.
3. She/he will only call you on late and inconvenient hours of the night; always have an excuse as to why they are unable to call you at a decent time.
4. She/he is rarely available to receive your phone-calls and when if you leave messages for them; you may not get a return call until days or even a weeks!
5. She/he sounds to be irritated or agitated if/when you question anything that they say or tell you that doesn’t make sense or resonate (defensive mechanism).
6. She/he may not be receptive to going out in public settings on a regular or ‘consistent’ basis with you (usually because they are already in a relationship of some sort or they don’t want to risk being caught by other’s who are being ‘played’ by them).
7. She/he hasn’t shown or expressed any interest in introducing you to any of their friends or family members; although you have been talking to or ‘seeing’ one another for a significant amount of time.
8. She/he has been consistently found to be contradictory or lying to you.
9. She/he will seem cold and detached ‘after’ sex (if you go there with them); always have an excuse as to why they cannot ‘stay’ overnight.
10. She/he is always asking for money, favors or sex and offering nothing in return.
11. She/he avoids eye-contact or can’t hold strong ‘eye-contact’ when you are in their presence.
12. She/he will often dodge questions that you may ask about them and their lives; very elusive wherever it matters in a mutual or ‘balanced’ interaction or relationship.
One of the very best way to know if someone is really interested in you is to hold out on sexual activity; spending money or buying gifts for a prolonged period of time (6 months or more). If you find that this person is still calling and expressing concerns, thoughts and feelings about YOU – chances are, they ARE interested in you! Are there other signs that I have not listed, that you have found to be significant as to whether or not someone who saying that they are interested in you but their ‘actions’ prove otherwise? If so, please list them! The more feedback – the merrier!