|Posted by kubbyk on September 30, 2014 at 6:30 PM|
Hello family! I have been having very strange occurences trying to gain a better control of my flow of energies for spiritual travels so that I may do it safely but also be able to travel at will. A little back history: A few years ago I suffered deeply from depression so was prescribed antidepressants and an antianxiety pill @ uni(because I was having intense panic attacks sometimes 2-3 times daily, but I didn't feel comfortable taking an addictive substance in my emotional state so I opted to just take the antidepressant). Along with the pills, I had therapy and met with a psychiatrist regularly to discuss how the med was working. I remember her saying, "People report having very strange intense dreams and usually do not like this, so we will either switch to a different med or tinker with the dosage." She asked me if I had had any very strange intense dreams and I said no, even though I was indeed having them. The astral/dream travels were so intense that I'd be in another world before I closed my eyes for sleep and I knew these dreams would be a great way to heal spiritually because I realized each dream no matter how frightening or blissful was a gift that I could use to examine Self. I've always had these experiences ever since I was very little but they returned in full force while I was on the medication. (I am no longer taking it and haven't been for at least 2 years)
So jumping to this particular experience from a few months ago.
I have never recalled the systematic step by step transition of astral or spirit self leave my physical body, hover or take notice of my physical self at all before traveling around the room/house/neighborhood/etc and then leaving to go into the astral. It has always been POP! Close your eyes here, open your eyes there. But on this occasion, I remember being very away of resting in my bed on my side and first I saw the back of myself (as I suspect I look if I'm just asleep on my side). I felt like I did when I was litte and would snuggle up in the small of my mother's back. But then I asked myself, "who is this woman? Is this mama? Is this me?" And then somehow my perspective changed and I was seeing this person face to face - a hybrid of both myself and my mother but she looked to be wearing my night clothes and it definitely felt like me and looked pretty much like a copy of me. My confusion came from not understanding from what level of conciousness I was viewing because I wasn't sure if it was my astral self looking at my physical self because I started out on my left side looking at the back of Me/Mom. Then this Me/Mom was turned around and I could see her face and her eyes were open (like mine were a lot when I'd have sleep paralysis as a child. I would make it as far as sitting up in the bed to get out and have sleep paralysis and be hearing audio from the walls and seeing different images on the wall almost like having multiple screens set up.) but then I seemed to flip to the other side and was looking at a mirror of myself again. So instead of being on my left side seeing the back and then front, I was now looking from the vantage point of laying on my right side to look at myself. Or maybe my mom was projecting and didn't recall? Were we both projecting and I was aware? Was I seeing my astral body or my physical body? Was I trying to get back into my physical body after being astral. I felt like my physical body was waking up to see this but I don't know. After a few seconds I fully woke up laying on my left side at the edge of the bed.