|Posted by 1stfiresun on July 20, 2013 at 9:35 PM|
So I ran into this girl from the past that i had once dated in high school, back then things were simple between us I was attracted to her and I could tell she was really into me. She was dark skinned had a pretty smile, smart, aaaand was the preachers daughter.:roll: back then I really wasn’t a Christian I didn’t have a strong faith in anything until I went to college and had all these spiritual experiences and knowledge come into my life. at the time life seemed to just pull us apart we were both graduating and decided to put everything on hold and focus on ourselves, 2 yrs pass and we met up and she instantly gravitated towards me, my philosophy about life, and wanted to know everything about me but I was very secretive and didn’t like to really let anyone know what i was up to personally, but she really wanted to know what makes me so sure in life and over time she won me over. I finally told her about the lucid dreams obe’s and things ive been feeling in my heart to be true, but to my surprise she didn’t run away because she was really into me and she knew that whatever I was doing was most likely positive. But at some point her Christian faith became a problem.
At some point she wouldnt listen to what I had to say because the ‘’good book’’ said the opposite. Honestly most of the things I heard her say sounded absolutely sick. after awhile it started to dong on me that even though she had a good heart and a beautiful soul she was slave and was afraid of be convicted of thought crime by god(thinking that she was actually saving me from the fiery pits of hell)/(that im evil and everything that I experienced was demonic). after that I came to a cold realization that she had been brainwashed beyond repair/ saving. Not going to lie I fell head of hills for her, but after this break up and a few other blow outs ive had over religion with my own flesh and blood I felt this blanket of loneliness cover my world. I live in the south where in the African American community Christianity and any old lies passed around a camp fire are figured to be true. i mean Im a man and all and I don’t mind being by myself but I don’t like being alone…like really me the cool quarterback outta school that everyone was cool with is lonely? and deep down i sometimes get scared for ppl can anybody understand what im feeling fill free to comment.