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Inpiring, encouraging, uplifting and empowering ALL who are receptive, one light at a time!

WHY GOSSIP HURTS THE SOUL

Posted by AstralBooBaby on October 15, 2013 at 1:35 AM

 

 

 

Remember that telephone game we played as children?  We all sat in a circle and the first person whispered a simple statement such as, “She is a girl” into a person’s ear. By the time the phrase was whispered to everyone in the circle it would turn into “She is a nice gorilla.”

It was funny at the time, but now when our friends say, “Did you hear about ____” our ears perk up and an audience is born.

Gossip hurts people, but most of us love to hear it anyway. Tabloids make a mint writing about celebrities and people getting their hearts smashed to smithereens. Gossip tends to hold a bottomless well of interest, yet when you are talking about someone when they are not around, ask yourself if you would feel comfortable sharing the same information if they were standing right in front of you?

Truly confident people don’t feel the need to gossip. If you want to be confident inside and out, then you need to get the gossip monkey off your back. Here are 8 reasons to stop gossiping, starting today.

1. Karma. When you gossip (or listen to others do it), you are inviting everyone around you to gossip about you as well.

2. Gossip is Hurtful. Gossip is really nothing more than empty noise and idol chatter. Its the language exchange people have when they feel otherwise insignificant. Gossip is a fuel that feeds egos, breaks hearts, and shatters confidence, but will never propel you forward.

3. Words can be crushing. The pen is mightier than the sword; the right words can cut a person to pieces and leave them writhing in pain. Gossip is verbal battery. When a person manufactures a rumor to hurt someone, shatter friendships and family, or make someone feel insignificant, they are being a verbal bully. And you would never want to be a bully, right?

4. Gossip serves no one. The next time you are around a gossiping magpie, ask yourself, “What will I accomplish by repeating this rumor?” Odds are, the answer is nothing. Gossip is often used to inflate the ego while deflating the feelings of another.

5. Hearing isn’t believing. Always ask yourself if you believe the information is true, and always take into consideration the origin of the gossip.

6. Exclusionary behavior is elementary school mean. The primary function of a rumor is to single out an individual and send the message that they are outside a social group and less worthy of friendship than others.

7. Gossip is destructive. Gossip leads to a decay of trust. It is painful, violating and often humiliating. Broadcasting private information exposes the flaws of another for all the world to judge. This leads to an erosion of trust and casts light on your own flawed character.

8. The buck stops here. Take a stand when people start gossiping around you. Make sure it always stops with you. Take a stand and never circulate information or be an audience to something you’re not proud of.

It’s easy to get caught up in day to day chit chat and to be curious about what is going on with other people. Comparing your life with others is natural, but when bonding with people about your friends and neighbors, it is easy for harmless information to turn into a hurtful situation.

Gossip is a destructive force; damaging to the reputations of those being gossiped about, as well as the reputations of those who spread rumor like wildfire.

 

Leave the gossip for celebrities. Never be willing to destroy your friendships by getting tangled in conversation that does nothing to reflect respect and honor for your friends.

 

Categories: RELATIONSHIPS, SELF EMPOWERMENT, BLOGS BY ASTRALBOOBABY

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3 Comments

Reply KenDaJedi
7:57 PM on October 21, 2013 
So much realness in this blog!
Reply AstralBooBaby
1:59 PM on October 21, 2013 
KarenW says...
That was a profound list of reasons not to Gossip. What I did think about when reading it was that it was all based on the negativity of words.
Gossip can work two ways. It can be negative or positive. The negative of course is bad. It does have many unpleasant side effects and faults.
Gossip can also be useful in a tool of hope and positive notations as well. Though it may be termed differently. A positive story about someone can inspire as much intrigue as the negative one's generate. So I would add that what the topic is and the intent of the "gossip". Maybe I am a little quirky on the thought but I am the first one to tell a story that has a positive ending that will inspire in the listener hope that this kind of positive stuff, up lifting through another's story.
Example:
I had a patient who he and his wife were loosing their home of 30 years. They raised their kids in it and wanted to retire, grow old and die there. For two years I watched as they occasionally came in to see the physician. I had known this patient for a very long time. His wife came to every appointment unless she was at work. They were wonderful people. I watched painful tears flow on many occasions as the couple proceeded through this transition.
A few months after loosing their home they returned to the clinic. I had to read my notes to make sure it was the same people who had been having the waterworks a few months earlier. It was. I had to ask what happened I thought you were going to loose your home. The couple looked at each other and started laughing. Then the lady said "we did". man "best thing that ever happened". both started laughing after these statements. then they proceeded to tell me about their life post foreclosure. No more yard work, no scraping by for money to fix the place up, no weekend long house work (now done in 2 hours as oppose to all weekend then back to work w/o a break). They had taken a small trip which they had not done in years due to financial concerns and they got to go out to eat occasionally. They again said it was the best thing that could have ever happened. I also noted that the two were giving each other looks like Newlyweds do. It was amazing to see the transformation.
A few...


Yes Karen! Thank you for pointing out a positive angle to gossiping but you pretty much summed up the difference between the gossip outlined in this vlog and what you've shared... Its all about the 'intent' and this is what I would like more of us to ask ourselves the next time we gossip or participate in listening to it... We should stop and ask ourselves; what do I get from this and how would the person that is being gossiped about feel if they knew or could hear of what is being spoken of and shared in their name? If we don't like the answer that we get - its probably a good idea that we stop giving our energy, attention and focus to it... By the way, that was a very touching and inspiring story and thank you for sharing it.
Reply KarenW
10:33 AM on October 17, 2013 
That was a profound list of reasons not to Gossip. What I did think about when reading it was that it was all based on the negativity of words.
Gossip can work two ways. It can be negative or positive. The negative of course is bad. It does have many unpleasant side effects and faults.
Gossip can also be useful in a tool of hope and positive notations as well. Though it may be termed differently. A positive story about someone can inspire as much intrigue as the negative one's generate. So I would add that what the topic is and the intent of the "gossip". Maybe I am a little quirky on the thought but I am the first one to tell a story that has a positive ending that will inspire in the listener hope that this kind of positive stuff, up lifting through another's story.
Example:
I had a patient who he and his wife were loosing their home of 30 years. They raised their kids in it and wanted to retire, grow old and die there. For two years I watched as they occasionally came in to see the physician. I had known this patient for a very long time. His wife came to every appointment unless she was at work. They were wonderful people. I watched painful tears flow on many occasions as the couple proceeded through this transition.
A few months after loosing their home they returned to the clinic. I had to read my notes to make sure it was the same people who had been having the waterworks a few months earlier. It was. I had to ask what happened I thought you were going to loose your home. The couple looked at each other and started laughing. Then the lady said "we did". man "best thing that ever happened". both started laughing after these statements. then they proceeded to tell me about their life post foreclosure. No more yard work, no scraping by for money to fix the place up, no weekend long house work (now done in 2 hours as oppose to all weekend then back to work w/o a break). They had taken a small trip which they had not done in years due to financial concerns and they got to go out to eat occasionally. They again said it was the best thing that could have ever happened. I also noted that the two were giving each other looks like Newlyweds do. It was amazing to see the transformation.
A few months passed and the man returned to the clinic. I noted his wife was not there and ask if she was at work. The man stated that his wife had died 3 months ago. I offered my condolences but in my mind I was thinking. Wow, wouldn't it have been great if they could have had the joy during the event as they did after BECAUSE the powers that be knew exactly where and what was going to happen and loosing the house was just setting the man up for his future without this particular partner. Had he lost her with the house still in tow he would have be emotionally and financially in a even bigger pickle.
Trusting that your back is being watched and living fully without worry. I have told many people this story as they worried over their own changes that seemed insurmountable. All of the people I told this story too had definite fixed beliefs in a deity watching their back. After I told the story I would then ask the person with the troubles if they are no less worthy of a similar outcome and did they not trust the GOD they had faith in to do exactly the same miracle in their own circumstances?
Many patient have returned to the office and said that after they left the clinic and hearing the story above they didn't worry and relaxed. The event in their life sorted itself out and they were able to focus on living not worry.
I have been accused of missing my calling...after this story and some in depth questions with various parties. I told them I was exactly where I needed to be. When it is time for me to be somewhere else I would be moved too. The story is profound on so many levels. I am exactly where I need to be when I need to be there. I can go with trust and joy or resistance and fear.
So bad gossip is BAD. Good gossip when done right can be so useful. I still see this story as "gossip" because I technically don't have permission to repeat it but it was such a profound experience and observation for me that IT would be a crime not to share it. INTENT has everything to do with it. I could have just as easily focused on all the negative aspects of a distraught couple, with financial issues out of their control added some self important observations on what they "should have done' vs. how the story played in my view. Observation, Perspective. and Intent.