|Posted by Indi440 on August 2, 2012 at 1:15 AM|
Over the past year and a half I've completely lost sight of my spiritual journey. I moved out to live on my own for the first time in downtown Denver, CO. I dropped school and got hired at a pizza joint just barely affording rent for a house with 2 other roommates. My life became serving slices, bussing tables, delivering pies. And away from that; parties, drugs, concerts, movies, more drugs. Amidst the debauchery I would attempt to fit in some meditation time. Lighting incense, candles, and blasting ambient tones would usually mask the smell of stale beer, pot, and cat shit, and muffle the sound of constant netflix on play 24/7. Dropping out of school was no issue due to some stubborn ideal that I could get somewhere with my music production (the only other leisurely activity outside of partying).
Around the first few months I was charged with underage drinking. I obtained a lightrail ticket for not paying fair, a speeding ticket while giving a roomie a ride to the airport, and most recently a dui, driving under restraint, and possession of a controlled substance. Until I ended up in a jail cell for 12 hours I lived pretty carelessly, attempting to convince myself that ignoring these issues would fix them. It's extremely disappointing to both myself and my family that I had to hit such a low point in my life in order to learn something.
Well now I've moved out of Denver, back home with my family. I haven't done any drugs since my arrest and have been going to court trying to deal with the consequences in order to get back on my feet. I've been developing a routine to keep my mind busy, avoiding any urge to socialize with the wrong people, thus influencing me to make poor choices again. Not to say i've been avoiding my friends. We're all young and in college and we still like to have fun every now and then. But I realize I don't want to fall behind everyone else. I've had my fun for the past 6 years drinking and experimenting with drugs, I think I can stop now. And through this routine of waking up, working out, job hunting, relaxing, feeding and walking my pup, sitting with the family, going to sleep, and doing it again, I can feel that I really am picking myself back up.
But then I realized I lost an essential part of my life in all this. My spiritual journey. And I wasn't reminded of it until a few nights ago when I felt the vibrations in my sleep, opened my eyes but couldn't move; something that never really happened in Denver, only back home. And now I'm here and there's a couple things i'd like to fit into that routine: Meditation, Lucid Dreaming, and perhaps once and for all, Astral Projection. Oh and not to mention my involvement in this site once again. If you'll have me that is.
Thank you for listening to my long and somewhat disappointing update to my story. I'll continue to provide progress as my story unfolds and I hope to get involved with everyone else any way I can. As we all know, we are all one. So lets chat
It's been a while since I've had any involvement here, Any updates on the world and where we're at spiritually would be greatly appreciated. I love advice, opinions, theories, etc.
Thank you again,
~Kenny J. Emmer