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ANGER and the CHAIN REACTION.

Posted by Estephan on September 30, 2013 at 8:15 PM Comments comments (4)



I've read a lot about anger and opinions here and I wanted to share my experience of it.

My grandmother asked me how I look at people that are angry, abusive and who attacks others. I had to bring up a memory of when I was very angry and I thought about that feeling and why I felt it and of course it had to be the worst scenario. So I thought about my ex step dad and how angry I was at him a time ago for beating up my mother when she was pregnant with my brother and not giving a damn about my other brother watching him doing these abusive things. I came to the conclusion that it had to do with something about your loved ones or yourself becoming attacked by a certain someone who also attacks your perspective/opinion on what is "good" and what is not. This anger becomes bigger because you do not understand where these actions come from or why it is happening or for what reason it did happen and it left me in a BIG cloud of confusion, which to me is some sorts of a chain reaction of the "anger" that you are feeling inside. This thing or happening that you perceive as "bad" bubbles up inside of you like burning hot fire when you are reminded of this happening that you still don't understand and with time when this anger does not become confronted so that you can understand the "bad" perspective, it becomes bigger and bigger until there is just pure hate inside of you. This process does something in you so that every person around you that reminds you of the source of this anger, you start to hate that person as much as you did with the source because it is a perspective you just can't understand and something you see as "bad". One important thing that I noticed also is that this anger that you have grown inside of you has made you a puppet of some sort and the anger makes you act out VERY EASILY on everything that anger wants you to act out on...

As you can see, this is a very bad and toxic chain reaction by the emotion anger and you affect yourself in many ways but most important you affect everyone around you, you maybe even make them around you, join your hate and anger. This toxic emotion is like a virus. There is and I am sure that it is, MORE terrible things in the anger then what I have come up with and I imagined this anger that I had but I imagined it 20 times stronger and then I understood where this man (my ex step dad) where he came from and I thought to myself... “Oh god, I feel bad for him”. I can just imagine how his life was from the beginning. I forgave him in myself and I accepted what has happened and so I've learned also that this virus inside of me, anger, disappeared when I did this. Now I told my grandmother... Well… I think these angry people deserves a second chance and that you should show them equal love as you show everyone else or even more because they really, really need it. Of course, she did not understand my point of view and I understand that. Perspectives are very dangerous in some way so I have a kind of respect of my perspective and others perspective of things and I don’t bother forcing my perspective on others, this I think is very important in life because opinions come from that someone’s perspective and the chain reaction of anger that I talked about just now, starts when that perspective (opinion) gets attacked by someone and this is exactly what happened to me.

I had one incident where I was on a party and a fight broke out where some of my friends fought with another crew that was also my friends. I was standing there with several others and tried to stop the fight. And there was someone there who jabbed me on my face several times and well I didn't mind it because I was focused on stopping it thinking that he maybe was confused. After a while I left the party with some friends and the crew that fought earlier saw me walking with my friends and they confronted us and said that they wanted to attack us too. One specific guy who earlier hit me several times in my face when I tried to stop the fight, he had this look on me, all this night. I never figured out why but as we were standing there he jumped at me and punched me in my face several times again, telling me to pinpoint my other friends’ location or he wasn’t going to stop. I kept standing there up-straight and let him hit me, why? Because I knew that the root of the problem was something in him that bothered him and that blew up his anger in him. How do I know that? Because I've been in the same situation with ANGER I had recently at this time learned to control that emotion but he hadn't. His friends that were with him tried to stop him and drag him away from me eventually because they saw that I didn't put up much of a fight and that it was useless. After he was calm, they went away and left us with a “sorry about this, he’s drunk”.

As time went on, I never hated this man or felt angry with him, I always said “Hi” to him when I saw him but of course he rejected my intentions. Now from some of my friends, I've learned that his father had died and that he was in a big depression in his life and that's why he drinks himself full of alcohol every weekend. This made me understand from my perspective that everything has a cause and that it's not because he is a bad person, it's because he can't control his emotions and thoughts and he is in a state in life where these toxic emotions runs through him every single day. His perspective of life was brutally attacked by the death of his father. He is a friend of mine today by the way, his anger towards me disappeared.

It's important to note that we usually want things in life to be in OUR way and if it doesn't go our way, we don't understand why it didn't go our way and we feel attacked and start to think endless so that we can feel good about ourselves or we just handle this confusion with anger or sadness. It's impossible in life to have things YOUR way, you will only have it your way temporary because present is evolution, every second that goes by is evolution, things change and you have to change your perceptions too so that YOU can join the evolution and gain MORE knowledge & experience in the end which is the main ingredient for your growth in life and which will also broaden your perspective.

We should always help, learn but most important love each other through our perspectives and some people will see this as the ultimate shot to their heart because they don't UNDERSTAND it and sees it as “bad” and we have to understand also that if that's the case then we will receive HIS perspective and his complaints which from OUR own perspective looks “bad” to us and the angry cycle continues…

Stop the cycle and you will feel much better and learn to agree to disagree when you need it, accept people for who they are and learn to be supportive instead of accusing! LOVE ourselves and others because we are the biggest book of learning.

 

Whats wrong w me?

Posted by Soulwarrior on August 5, 2013 at 4:25 AM Comments comments (1)
What is my problem? Lately I have noticed something bad in me. There is an increasing feeling of detachment and indifference to everything following me wherever i go and whatever I do, and whatever I see. It is a feeling of " nothing excites me anymore". I react the same when I see a rose as when I see a pile of poop. Should I not react differently to a pile of poop as I should react by seeing a beautiful rose? Why do I not feel the sounds of the birds anymore? Why do i not appreciate and feel nature anymore? Why do I not feel the music anymore? Why do I not feel anything anymore? The only thing i feel is anger and hatred. My dreams reflect this detachment and indifference. A part of me is excited about things, but another part of me blocks the excitement from reaching my being. I can be conceptually excited about love and life and beauty, but I cannot feel the excitement. My feelings are not there. The emotional connection is not there. Please help me understand what has happened to me. Is this a good or a negative sign? Is it a result of enlightenment and stillness, or is it perhaps a reault of repressed frustration, hatred and anger? My theory is that i have repressed emotions from frustrating situations and people who treated me unfairly, and because of this my chakras are closed and not flowing freely. Maybe my life energy is blocked by repressed emotion and therefore my heart has closed. I dont know. These are just speculations. What happened to my original feeling of being excited about everyone and about everything? I hate this feeling of indifference and detachment and dissociation from my surrounding. Another thing that has happened is that for one year, all my dreams have been only grey and lifeless. My dreams are no longer beautiful and mystical lucid dreams like before. Now, my dreams are only lifeless and grey segments that dont make any sense at all. And when I wake up from my sleep, I no longer feel energized. But I always wake up feeling more tired than when I slept. And throughout the day there is this feeling of tiredness, indifference, and detachment from life. Nothing can excite me anymore. Even music , that used to make me feel so strong emotions and cry, now dont make me feel anyhing anymore. Not eve music feels anything. Today i woke up hearing my favourite bird sounds outside the window and the sun is shining. But still there is nothing that excites me or make me feel " what a wonder lful day". Its more like, i just hear the sounds , but i dont feel it. What has happened to me? Is this a bad sign or maybe its a good sign? Why does it feel like this?

LUCID DREAM; A VISITATION OF WHAT WAS TO COME

Posted by AstralBooBaby on July 16, 2013 at 12:30 AM Comments comments (17)

In mid-2009, I had a very lucid dream that involved a powerful and symbolic message of what was to come. This message was brought by way of the spirit of an uncle who had passed over from the physical material world in early 1996. Before I get into the dream regarding my uncle and the greater message that I wish to convey in this article - allow me to give a very brief background on my uncle and my base connection to him... My uncle Dennis happened to have been the only older male relative that I had spent the most time with, as a child. He used to come over to my mother’s apartment to pick me up, so that I could spend the weekend with his two youngest sons, since we were all close in age. I have memories of my uncle taking us (myself and his two younger sons) to the go-car race track; lots of fun we used to have then! I have very fond memories of my uncle taking us to buy shoes and clothing and so on. I don’t have a lot of memories of verbal communications with my uncle because he wasn’t much of a talker. His presence and facial expressions spoke for him in a way that I have still yet to see in anyone else. He would always have a smile on his face and when he didn’t smile, we knew that something was wrong. He (my uncle) appeared the most intimidating when his is frowning or not in the best of moods for sure! Although, I am from a large family with lots of cousins, it never occurred to me that my uncle seemed to have taken a special interest in me out of all of His nephews. Looking back, I don’t even think that he was consciously aware of why he took a special interest in me. Little did I know at the time, that there was going to be a much deeper connection between my uncle and myself in the long run.

 

I loved my uncle and had great respect for him because he was a strong and stern man. He was humble, very hard working, insanely committed to his wife (who had passed on 10 years before he had) and a true-blue provider to and for all whom he was responsible for. My uncle had a sense of humor for sure but as previously stated, he could also come across as very intimidating! All of His nieces and nephews were fearful of him, not because he’s done anything like spank us or abuse us – he just had ‘that’ energy about Him! He was so effective and intimidating to us that if he just looked at us a certain way, it would be enough to frighten us back in order! My uncle would be considered average in height but he had a very strong and larger than life presence! Now that I am older and wiser, I really ULTRAstand that my uncle’s power and presence came from his ‘core’ – not his physical persona and of course, the same is true for us all but I digress. Uncle Dennis had an extremely difficult life. He was the oldest of 9 children, who grew up very poor in the rural South of Kingston North Carolina. He was born in 1939 and as one could imagine, he experienced, witnessed and overcame unbelievable obstacles, especially growing up as many would classify or ‘label’ as a ‘poor black person’ in the Jim Crow era.

 

My uncle lived hard and played even harder and as he aged, it all eventually caught up with him. His health had begun to decline not long after his wife of 30+ years had passed on. He had begun to drink more than usual and he had also began to become more withdrawn from family. We gradually saw him become very grumpy, bitter and angry but none of this changed the love and respect we all had for him; we understood why he was the way he was. Back in 1994, I was not long out of high-school and although I have held down summer jobs, long term jobs, etc., I was unemployed and had no sense of direction during this time. I was still dealing with a lot of hurt, shame, guilt, confusion, insecurity and emotional turmoil from a childhood and past that only one person had some knowledge of at that time. It was at this time, that I was living with my uncle but we rarely spoke or said anything to one another. We just understood one another without saying a word. However, my strongest connection and purpose for living at my uncle at the time was due part to a connection that I had developed in the later years with his only daughter named Debbie. My cousin Debbie and I had grown to be very close at this time because she too was treated as an ‘outcast’ or ‘misfit’ within our expanded family and community. She too was sexually abused and misused by people who should have been protecting her. She was the only person who knew about some of the things that I had gone through in my childhood. So yes, she and I found solace and support in and with one another. At the time, I wasn’t in school or employed... I was wasn't motivated to do anything because I was so very lost and depressed. I really didn’t think I could ever be happy in this world or ever have a 'peace' of mind.

 

The year was 1995; I have a very clear memory of walking home from a nearby playground and I had run into a long time family friend, who’s still much like a sister to me to this very day. We hugged one another with great glee and joy! Now mind you, this is someone that I had known since the age of eight but we had not seen one another in three years prior to this brief reunion. She said, “Boy, how are you? I haven’t seen you in the longest”… I said, I am ok and how are you? She said “I am fine Boo Boo!” She then said “I ran into your uncle Dennis, the other day and I asked about you and what you were doing and he said (and I quote) ‘He ain’t doing shit and he ain’t gonna be shit”… I then said to her, he really said it, like that? She said, “Yeah, he said it just like that… I wouldn’t lie about something like that” (with a smile on her face)… In that moment, it felt as if my heart sunk into my stomach. I couldn’t believe that she would just come right out and tell me this… Even more-so, I couldn’t believe that my uncle would say such a thing about me. Already dealing with tremendous sadness, loneliness and depression and now hearing of this from someone that I really respected and admired, really sent me into a downward spiral to the point of having increased thoughts of suicide. My thought process was; 'well, I already feel like I don’t matter in this world. I can’t relate to this world and the one other person that I look up to and have respect for, next to my mother, (my mom and I didn’t get along well during this time) thinks I am nothing, I may as well be dead'.

 

Although a lot had occurred from the previous timeline to the present, I would like to now fast forward this story to the year of 2009. I was more confident, focused and willing to take risks and chances in my life. I recall having very intense urges and thoughts to quit a very well paying job for what most people would consider a very respectful and reputable agency. Although, I had taken all that had occurred to me in the past and defied the odds by attaining social and economic success with only a high-school education and ‘some’ college level courses -, I KNEW that I wasn’t fulfilling my greater purpose. I continued to go to my 'well paying' job but wasn’t happy or felt any fulfillment doing none of itl.. In fact, I got to the point of literally hating the job and the agency but still I kept forcing myself to just ‘make that money’ and sustain a 'material' comfortable life and life-style. I also loved having the finacial means of helping others but even this advantage was causing me to re-think of ways to detaching from my employment situation at the time... The 'inner conflict' was trying to force a circle to fit into a square. As I have stated in videos in the past, if we have a purpose and calling pulling on us and we ignore it, the ALL or universe has a way of forcing our hand. When it occurs in this way, it usually goes down in the most unpleasant of ways. In 2009, at my place of employment; new management was hired and they were brought in to restructure the organization. I was a Supervisor/Manager of the department that I ran and had practically built and managed single-handedly for almost two years. To make a long story short, new management came on-board and there was great tension between higher and mid-level management and I ultimately got caught in the middle. This eventually led to a calculated effort to move me out of the way or better yet, ‘fire’ me. In a nutshell, I was set up and made to look like ‘a bad’ guy and this lead to the company that I work for letting me go. Ironically, I had 3 other job offers already on the table, so I didn’t fret. I figured that I would simply take 2 months off from working; live off of my savings and get back into the game. I wasn’t prepared for all three very promising job offers to fall through! I tried to apply for unemployment insurance but due to filing so late in conjunction to my previous employer citing “insubordination” as the reason for my termination, I couldn’t get any unemployment. So, I began applying for jobs right and left. I began calling old friends and acquaintances because we all knew that it’s not always about ‘what’ you know but ‘who’ you know when it comes to landing a job. I must have applied for hundreds of jobs in the first 2 months of being unemployed. It seemed that nothing I could do or would do to get work would happen. I went to job fairs and even had a Human Resource Supervisor who took a special interest in me and couldn't understand why I had such difficulties finding work? She worked every possible angle to get me work! She was very consistent and stayed in contact with me... In fact, I met her in 2010 and she still sends me an email every now and then, just to check up on me but I digress... She did come very close in landing me a position. I had a panel interview; pending an job opportunity that was tied up in a government contract. Yes, we came very close but just when I was about to be hired, the contract for the position got canceled. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong but with an extra W in the ‘wrong’… My life-savings was quickly dwindling because I continued to pay my mortgage and bills on time from my savings (I took great pride in my high credit scores and defying the odds in the material world). This is where I will now share the core of what this story is about.

 

After four months of being unemployed and dealing with all of the road-blocks and anomalies of the material world… I had a lucid dream whereas the spirit of my uncle showed up. He took me to this massive beach front. There were people walking around but my attention was completely focused on Him. I remembered Him saying that he was sorry for the words that he used that caused me hurt but it had to happen this way because it’s for a greater good. He appeared to be the physical form that I remembered him being on earth but he was definitely taller; projecting tremendous power and wisdom. He was very articulate (my uncle had a speech impairment as a human on earth) and controlled. In fact, his mouth never moved because all of what he had communicated to me was telepathic and I fully understood. I remember him putting his left hand on my shoulder and he then said... “Continue to be brave, brace myself for some of the greatest challenges that you have ever experienced.” As he was communicating this thought to me, the ocean literally began to welt up and come in towards the beach front that we were standing on - it was a tsunami! I remember shifting my consciousness from the experiencer to the observer. The tsunami was aggressively coming in towards us! It appeared to be about 20 ft high and I could clearly see debris and sharks in it! Just when the Tsunami was about to fall on top of us and everyone on the shore, my uncle (as his left hand was still on my left shoulder; looking directly into my eyes), quickly put out his right arm and hand, as to signal in a STOP motion - in the direction of the incoming gigantic wave and it all literally froze and stopped in mid air! Even the people who were running about and around us had stopped as well… He then said, “You too can do what you see here” and he said “trust in the power that you have within” and I felt an intense shift of energy inside and I opened my eyes! I could still feel his energy and presence when I sat up on the bed.

 

My uncle visited me to bring some clarity as to why my past had to be the way it was and to prepare me for the journey that I was slated to from that moment onward. Just about every kind of hardship, loss and struggle one could imagine fell upon me all at one time at the ‘wrong’ time (or so it seemed). My uncle was showing me through this lucid dream and vision that I was standing at the shores of my material, esoteric and metaphysical tsunami and would be challenged to the max in the process. If I were to share everything that I have had to go through and deal with from that period to now, I am sure that most of you would be surprised at how I was able to forge ahead in the way that I have. I share this story for several reasons… The first and main reason is to inspire everyone out there to never accept that you are your circumstance… Never define yourself by where you are in life, be it economically, mentally or socially. NEVER, think that you are alone in anything that you are going through. Being spiritual, successful or whatever does not exempt anyone from challenges, hardship and struggle – those are to come for sure but it is how we choose to maneuver during these times that truly makes it easier or harder to cope with. In fact, it is those who have the most challenges and overcome them, who are among the most advanced on a soul level. “To much is given, much is required” is what comes to mind, sharing the aforementioned because its those who have experienced and overcome the hardest of ALL, who are in the best position to be beckons of light for those who have yet to develop the tools needed to find their own unique way and path. Last but not least, my reason for sharing this article is to allow my story to be a reminder that just because your life isn’t going the way you want it, does not mean that you are off track! This is a misnomer that’s all too common in the spiritual, religious or conscious community. Sometimes, it’s those things that we don’t want – that we must receive in order to ultimately reach or achieve what we want. A diamond in the ruff isn’t something that we can just go and find, just by wanting it. It takes a lot of searching and toiling in the fields to find one. To shape a diamond into fruition requires a lot f bending, breaking and molding of the elements that produces those diamonds. We are all like diamonds in the ruff and the most shining and beautiful examples will be those of us who came by way of over coming the harshness and brutality of the elements! Even as I type this article, I am truly humbled but marvel at how much I’ve endured and have overcome in lieu of insane odds. All of the things that I have been through has lead me to the person you see today! I am standing in my purpose! True, I don’t have the financial foundation and support that I used to have when I was working a 9 to 5 but I can honestly say that even in lieu of all of the hardships, pain, loss,  sacrifice -- others lying on me, dishonor, fraud, etc., I have never felt so accomplished, purposeful and having peace of mind as I do today.

 

In closing, my uncle came to visit me in another lucid dream very recently and the last thing he said to me was “You now KNOW more than me”… He was for speaking or communicating to and about me on a core level but it was reassurance of a job well done. My tsunami is finally dwindling and I am cleaning up the debris, as I continue to inspire, encourage, empower any or all who are receptive, in a way that even more effective than ever before!

 

Lucid Dreams

Posted by julesmitchell on June 15, 2013 at 2:45 PM Comments comments (5)

This dream was very lucid....I recently broke up(for now) with my soul mate and she got me locked up and a bunch of other drama...anyways I was on the phone with her telling her the things I wanted to tell her about all the things I wanted to say and she just laughed at me and hung up then I looked up and seen a beam of light and when I got into the light I felt transformed and woke up illuminated...is ti possible through dreams to be initiated into some sort of other dimensional source of Light??? and as beings of Light can we attract positive or negative energy to ourselves???

Psycho Meds

Posted by solodolobolo on April 23, 2013 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (12)

I've been battling depression and general anxiety since I can remember. Today I started my first course of antidepressant medication (I call them psycho meds cos I think it's funny). The decision to do so was a hard one. Throughout my counselling I was adamant that I was going to get through this without medication, that the root of my issues was spiritual imbalance, that the power was all within me. However, I just want to SEE if my quality of my inner world could do with a chemical pick-me-up. I certainly don't want to feel like I've failed myself, but of course I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get there without. Gosh dang this human experience is a tricky one. Here's to the upward spiral.

It's okay to be crazy!

Posted by IncarnatedElemental07 on April 19, 2013 at 9:20 PM Comments comments (5)

I'm finally having an opinion on what's going on and of course there are fingers being pointed at me about how my views are eccentric or crazy. 

That's okay though! I would have allowed this to hurt or damage me in the past, but I accept it with open arms.

I am not ashamed for questioning what is going on in the world, and I am not ashamed of my views. It's okay to question why these bombings are happening around the same time as CISPA, and how it could just all be a practice of martial law. Also, it's okay to differ in thinking so.

There is not set right or wrong as we all have different walks and different perspectives, but I will NO LONGER be ashamed. I am free of the critical eye, as I see myself from within.

I love you all. 

-IncarnatedElemental07

Lukewarmness

Posted by Maria aka Xc on January 19, 2013 at 12:45 AM Comments comments (0)

On Lukewarm people


We all can identify with people who are neither here nor there. Those that are easily swayed by other's beliefs; not able to follow through on what they stand for.


 Lukewarmness has nothing to do with not being able to have an emotion or being spiritually closed up / withdrawn. This is not the reason why one should question or assume this to be why bad things still happen to them or why they continue to fail. Anyone , be he be spiritual or not; if having the will to bounce back from such adversities, will; if the desire is there, and will eventually stand tall again.


 Lukewarmness stems from long periods of mindlessness towards ones inner self / growth. You don't just wake up one morning and discover that you have lost touch with your true connection to the divine presence / God / Divine Almighty. The state of lukewarmness is always followed by ongoing faithlessness and behaving in contradictory ways that hinder ones spiritual path. If attention is not given over a period of time, there is built up that if allowed to manifest, leaves one experiencing a sense of disconnectedness to the almighty source.


If one does not tend to the nurturing and care of a plant, does it not wither away ,dry up and eventually die?


Another factor of lukewarmness is the growing tolerance to living a life that we know is not in alignment with our beliefs. We begin to adopt the approach of "well, it can't hurt!" No ones perfect! "I'm only human!"


We try to justify our actions this way, to make concessions for the guilt that starts to rise within our souls - a way to ease our conscience.


When we fall into lukewarmness, the vision that we once held within our hearts will utimately become a blur; it is now that our spirituality becomes a drag: a duty or a chore. At this stage, we most likely are still going through the act of meditating; appreciating a good book should it fall in our laps. Even indulging in conversations about spirtuality is still possible, for here, we are merely talking about it, but no longer do we practice what we preach.


I think that this has been planted in my subconscious, to remind me that I must be ever so vigilant of the torch I carry within. You see, I've been down this road before; a few years back, and well, I got sidetracked by life itself. When facing the crossroads, I undoubtedly ventured on the wrong path; but thankfully, that path has inadvertently led me right back to where it all began. So; all is not lost afterall!


 My hopes is that in creating this blog (I hope I was not too redundant, as I'm freestyling as we speak lol)that I prevent even one person from making the same mistake I did in prolonging my spiritual journey. With that said; let's all help each other in standing the test of times! Whether it be a word of encouragement; one of our little quotes; photos; even a little "Hi" can carry weight! Thank you for your time.

The Reasons Why I Stopped Being Homophobic

Posted by ManOMan on December 28, 2012 at 10:40 AM Comments comments (3)

The article below was sent to me today by one of my gay cousins. I am not gay but reading that article made me think about how far I have come from being a very homophobic person myself. I am starting to really see that people who are gay are not these evil abominations who are here to molest and pervert me or somebody elses kid. I won't lie and say that I really believed this way when I was younger because it was put in my head by other ignorant homophobics or religious fanatics but as I opened my mind and grew, I began to see that homophobia is another ploy to divide, control and promote fear and violence with. I allowed myself to be more opened to the gays and found them to be some of the most loyalest, coolest, smart and friendliest people ever! So yeah, I agree that homophobia must end and I have started ending it with me!

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

If you look up "homophobia" in the dictionary, it will probably tell you that it is the fear of homosexuals.

While many would take issue with that definition, it is nevertheless true that in many ways, it really is a fear of homosexuality or at least homosexuals, as we will see in this essay.

Homophobia is widespread in America, far more widespread than most heterosexuals realize, and it is far more subtle, too. The discrimination it inspires touches the lives of many Americans, not just gay Americans, but all Americans. And America pays a very dear price for it as we shall see.

 

The Effects of Homophobia On American Society

In 1994, during the campaign of Oliver North for the U.S. Senate, there were several of his supporters seen carrying signs along a Virginia freeway that read, "Homophobia Doesn`t Kill." By announcing that belief, they were exposing their ignorance to the world, because homophobia does kill, and it kills with surprising frequency.

There are the obvious murders inspired by hatred. In the U.S., they number in the dozens every year. Abroad, the numbers run to the hundreds to thousands, no one knows the precise number for sure, as in many countries, the deaths of homosexuals are not considered worth recording as a separate category.

But there are other ways in which homophobia kills. There are countless suicides every year by gay men and lesbians, particularly youth, which mental health professionals tell us1 are not the direct result of the victim`s homosexuality, but is actually the result of how the homosexual is treated by society. When one lives with rejection day after day, and society discounts one`s value constantly, it is difficult to maintain perspective and realize that the problem is others` perceptions, not one`s own, which is why suicide is several times as common among gay men as it is among straight men.

Perhaps the highest price is paid by youth. The young person just emerging into adulthood who has begun to realize that he is different, and the difference is not approved of, finds acceptance of self particularly difficult. This is especially true when others perceive the young person as different, and persecute him as a result, with little effort made by authority figures to stop the torment. This is why gay youth commit suicide at a rate of about seven times that of straight youth. Yet it is surprising how often homophobes actually try to prevent intervention by teachers in the schools!

 

The Reasons Homophobes Give For Their Hatred

It`s not natural. Well, that`s probably the weakest argument of all, since biologists frequently see homosexual behavior in other animal species, and in livestock ranching, homosexual behavior is so common it is considered a problem. Homosexual behaviors have been noted in every primate species so far studied, and in man`s closest living relatives, the bonobo chimpanzees, bisexual behavior is universal.

Among humans, homosexuality is found in all cultures and with about the same frequency it is found in America. Cultural norms seem to have little influence on the incidence of homosexual behavior. So the claim that it isn`t natural becomes rather difficult to support.

It`s a perversion. This is really a variation of the "it`s not natural" argument, and so there`s no need to reiterate what has been said in the above paragraphs, other than to say that it is the `natural` argument with a religious overtone. And being essentially a religious argument, it has little place in a society that believes in the separation of the powers of church and state.

It`s against God`s law. Well, of course this is a purely religious argument, and it presumes that the homosexual is or should be bound by the religious principles that are propounded here by the religionist.

The fact of the matter is that since this society and its government were founded on the notion of the separation of church and state, to encode in a secular law an idea that has purely religious purposes, is a clear violation of the principle of the separation of church and state. Until the religionist can come up with a sound reason why society benefits by the outlawing of homosexual activity, then there is no moral basis for such a law if one accepts the principle of religious freedom as encoded in the doctrine of the separation of church and state.

It`s disgusting. Has the person who says that ever watched sausage being made?

There are many things that go on in society that we would consider disgusting, but we don`t outlaw them just because of that. In fact, many of these activities are quite essential to the functioning of a modern society, but we simply turn our minds to other matters and don`t concern ourselves with them.

Heterosexuals need to remember that they themselves are `disgusting` to many homosexuals; it will come as quite a surprise for them to discover that the feeling is mutual. Yet it would be ludicrous for the gay person to suggest that heterosexuality ought to be persecuted; why shouldn`t it work just as well the other way around? Isn`t respect and tolerance a two way street?

 

The Real Reasons Behind Their Hatred

Us versus them: It is the subconscious belief that if someone else is granted rights, those rights come at one`s own expense. For example, one of the oft-quoted reasons why some oppose gay marriage is that it will somehow threaten the heterosexual institution of marriage. Just how that would happen is never explained, but those who agree with the notion don`t have to explain; to them it seems a reasonable proposition, because they feel the threat, even if they can`t put their finger on why.

Obviously, this reason is an emotional reaction rather than a reasoned argument. Yet the fact that it is simply an emotional reaction is not relevant to the bigot; he believes that since he believes it, it must be true. And that is good enough. No evidence is neccessary.

Loss of control: It has been my experience that the more conservative an individual he is, the more concerned he is about being able to control his environment.

Someone who lives life in a manner quite different that oneself represents a threat to that individual. The threat is a threat to the ego in the sense that one`s own choices may prove not to be optimal; it is also a subconscious threat to one`s security in the sense that the other may prove to be more successful.

Again, the threat here is an emotional one, not a real, tangible threat. And again, there`s no real-world evidence to support it. But emotion is what drives the bigot.

The reason for the emotion is actually a primal instinct. When one examines the dominance-submission behaviors in other species, they often have sexual overtones, especially in other primate species. If a dominant male wants the food or mate posessed by a subordinate, he`ll often bite the subordinate, causing him to yelp in pain and drop the food or the female, and then present his rump.

It is the presentation of the rump that is key here. It`s saying to the dominant male and the rest of the troupe that the subordinant male is submissive and that the dominant male can have his way with him, regardless of the extent that may take. It`s essentially a submission to rape, should the dominant male desire to do so.

It is that instinctual fear of rape that drives much of homophobia. Straight men often instinctually see gay men as a threat, and they instictively fear that threat. It`s a fear of a loss of control, of dominance, of status.

The threat is very real - in some rare, isolated circumstances. This instinctive means of asserting dominance is the source of prison rape. It`s why men, who on the inside of prisons rape other men with brutal frequency become promiscuous heterosexuals on the outside. Such men almost never have sex with other men as a means of emotional sharing, it`s rather a violent act, intended to control, assert dominance and force other men intoa subordinate position.

Well, straight men, you can relax. The vast majority of us gay men don`t want our way with you. We have sex for the same reason that most of you do - as a part of the expression of love, caring, concern and commitment. Since we`re not likely to get it from you, you`re not attractive to us and you have nothing to fear from us.

The small minority (and it`s a very small minority) of gay men who actually do enjoy seducing straight men invariably do so with understanding and respect for the straight man`s concerns and fears. Such encounters are conducted in an atmosphere of equality of the shared emotional experience, and a recognition and respect for the straight man`s need for parity and discretion.

Threat to one`s world-view: When someone has held to the same ideas and has staunchly advocated them all of his life, someone else who says he`s wrong can be rather threatening.

The notion that "that old time religion is good enough for me" is one that is a lot more than just an old song, it represents a fundamental attitude towards one`s roots that make it difficult to accept that one has been wrong all of one`s life.

If a gay person comes along and says, "hey, look at me, I`m a productive, contributing member of society with values and ideals that make me little different than you," that person is a threat to someone who has believed all his life what he may have been told since he was young; that gay people are somehow perverted, miserable, lonely people who live short, desperate lives. Yet to the amazement of many, as the AIDS epidemic has forced thousands of gay people out of the closet, these gay people have proved not to be the stereotypes people had believed; but rather ordinary folks like themselves.

Another unsupported emotional reaction, not a real threat. Again, not worthy of consideration as a real reason for being the basis of public policy. Fear of rape: This is probably the most emotional and irrational of all of thehomophobe`s fears, but is probably the most universal. It is the origin of the old saw about `covering your butt` and numerous other similar admonitions.

Yet the fact is that there are very, very few gay men who would prefer to have sex with heterosexual men, particularly those who would not be willing to cooperate. Why go to the trouble? Only a narcissist would believe that forced sex with himself would be preferable to cooperative and appreciated sex with someone else. Yet it is amazing to me how many heterosexual men actually, subconsciously, at least, feel this way. Maybe this says something about the universality of narcissism!

This is obviously an emotional reaction. Again, there are very few incidents of homosexual rape of heterosexuals, and the chances of becoming a victim are far less than being struck by lightening. But that doesn`t assuage the fear.

Fear that one may actually be homosexual himself: Homosexuality is, by even the most conservative estimates, far more common than the number of open homosexuals would imply. And with the realization that bisexuality is actually fairly common, particularly among women, there is a genuine fear among the more conservative that they, themselves, may be homosexual, particularly if they have had a homosexual experience in their past which they actually enjoyed. And since surveys indicate that approximately 64% of adult males in the United States have, there are lots of candidates out there for that fear. Compounding this can be religion-based guilt, often promoted by televangelists who have made a career of promoting homophobia.

The fear leads to a subconscious reaction: hate and/or kill the queer and you`re not like him, because you`ve distanced yourself from him. Irrational, isn`t it? Yet that`s the subconscious logic involved.

One robin does not a summer make and one homosexual experience does not a queer make. It`s really that simple. For me, being gay means that I prefer relationships with men.

It doesn't matter if you believe or not - you are a particpant

Posted by isis_dreaming on March 10, 2012 at 6:20 PM Comments comments (2)

I was aware and investigating all the 2012, political and social theories, but this experience is what, I think, really 'woke me up'. When I moved to a new location, I cleansed the apartment due to "old hag" experiences I was having in my previous apt. Someone died who previously lived in that place, I was also seeing their dog who did die in the apt. I wasn't real woo woo about it until I started having the experience of "old hag' about 3x a wk and felt like I was becoming 'crazy' due to sleep deprivation. I was scared to sleep in my own bed. After I moved, I did have two more experiences but after an additional sage cleansing it seemed to stop for months. These attacks weren't sexual at all. A few months later, a new upstairs neighbor moved in with her sister and mother. She was exceedingly friendly and for some reason would try to flatter me in a rather, to me, insincere way (she didn't even know me). We were talking about 'ghost tv shows' and she mentioned that she 'dreams' that she can leave her body at will and often 'walks around' other peoples homes while they are sleeping. She said she felt guilty about it. What's to feel guilty about a dream, I thought. I really thought she was just nuts. She also told me her mother could 'see things'. At this point I had not yet taken up a spiritual study.. I had read esoteric texts since a pre- teen, but having gone off the path due to many circumstances and being a big 'fraidy cat at the time, was not meditating anymore, but still studied diverse practices. She took a rather, what I felt was an insidious interest in me, asking what religion I was and bringing conversation always around to what did I practice ? After seeing books on tarot,meditation,astrology,kabbalah, she asked me if I was jewish etc. She was always coming to my door complimenting my collection of plants and then would ask if she could come in to see them. She was way too 'observant' I noticed, and she only came in a few times b/c she made me creeped and rather slimy feeling afterward. She was always commenting about how I needed to 'teach her'...whatever she noticed me working on while in my home or whatever book title she could read on the coffee table. She would talk to my dog, even through  a closed door,saying she wanted to be friends. Anyhow, a few months later due to a situation at my job, I started meditating again and reading like a madwoman to 'catch up' b/c I felt I was materially and spiritually under attack.She would keep asking me what I was doing b/c she could hear me doing a mantra or 'overhear' a podcast I was listening to and wanted a copy of it. Mind you I hardly talked to her otherwise. One night I heard a noise in the LR. I got out of bed (at the time I assumed I was dreaming) and my dog followed me. I ended up scaring a shadow out of my home and my dog startled a cat. It didn't feel it was the same type of 'entity' like the 'old hag' I was having before. It seemed more 'human'- like someone just looking at my stuff. Over the next few months other incidents happened and it started getting more physical. I would feel someone trying to open my mouth as I slept. They would climb in bed with me and hug me. I couldn't make out a face but the shadow had a shape. The shadow then climbed in bed with me one night and started humping on my leg- I had had enough and finally had the presence of mind to ask it what the hell it wanted then  hauled back and 'punched' it. The last incident they tried to get overtly sexual by stimulating me awake. At that point I grabbed it and let it know in no uncertain terms was that consented to. But because they had touched my genitals I was really angry. One day that upstairs neighbor cornered me in the foyer to ask me if I could 'curse' our noisy neighbors.. of course I looked at her like she was mental and just said that I thought the universe takes care of things at that level, for the most part, w/o my interference. Anyway, she made a comment about how wonderful my energy was and she loves being around me. She stepped at me to hug me (w/c I protested, but she did it anyway). At that point I noticed the outline of her body and realized she looked just like that shadow that had been coming around my apt at night and I remembered what she said a year earlier about how she can dream that she is wandering around in peoples homes at night and feels guilty about these dreams. Since then she has continued to try to find out what I practice, she has sneakily blown some kind of powder in my face (which made me really ill) and I have been warned in a reading to stay at least 10 feet away from her. I don't notice any more nocturnal visitations (I tried a few things to protect myself, once I accepted perhaps this was really what I thought it was). Now I know why she wanted to befriend my animal companion b/c the dog would constantly be barking at a dark living room at that time. or growling at dead air. The dog doesn't seem to do that as much anymore. But i am wondering if she is just much better at skulking around.

jerry

Posted by jerrybooker on December 14, 2011 at 11:25 AM Comments comments (0)
I have always been aware of interdemenisional beings. But last year I had an unpleasant experience with one,he was about 8 feet in height it was in the dark so I didn't get a clear view but his height was evident. He had glowing red eyes humanoid in impearance,very slender. I felt his presence before I see him,but that was the scariest thing I feel his regressive negative aura. The amount of hatred I felt coming from him was alarming. So I told him to leave,and that he wasn't welcome after awhile he left. But apart of me knew that I had nothing to fear! I been experiencing things like this for years.but nothing that radiated such evil intent before. I could feel that because of who I was that he hated me for it. And to be honest I think he's the same one who possessed me before on one occasion. The amount of hatred I felt when I was possessed, was the same being who was watching me that night I'm sure of it.