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INFINITE FOOD FOR YOUR BODY, SOUL AND MIND (The majority of site content will be updated the 20th of every month) Updated January 20, 2015
THE GREATEST PART OF YOU IN LIEU OF 'A NEED TO PLEASE'
ABB a.k.a. AstralBooBaby
Do you find it challenging or difficult to say no to people? Do you tend to put the needs of others ahead of your own, even at the behest of your own peace of mind? Do you tend to suppress your authentic thoughts, feelings and views due to a prevailing concern or fear of offending or upsetting others? Have you been acutely aware of people abusing you by taking advantage of your kindness or generosity but yet and still, you continuously give these very same takers, ‘goods’, energy, resources and support? If your answer is ‘yes’ to one or all of these thought provoking questions, you may well have a serious condition of ‘a need to please’. We find these traits and attributes most common among women but males are far from exempt.
I recall a time in former years when I had a need to please the strongest, due to wanting to be liked and accepted for me! I would be remiss if I were not to state that unlike most in my peer group at the time, I refused to adhere to what was popular or trendy. Instead, I would stand in my genuine expression and would work hard, buying the acceptance of others. One example of such, was at a time when I worked as an Artist Aide at a local Musical Theater company. We used theater, music and art as a vehicle to inspire, educate and empower inner-city youths. This was a place where creative and eccentric expressions where common place but ironically, I still didn't feel like it was a good 'fit' for me; deep within, I felt out of place. Yet and still, I would spend money to purchase food, for the sole purpose of preparing lunch for all of the ensemble members, on a routine basis. Mind you, I was pretty aware that a few of those very same individuals would still say ‘unkind’ things behind my back but I continued to do things to please them. In fact, the more I would ‘go out of my way to appease and please’ these individuals, the more stressed and isolated I would feel.
Spending so much of my time and money trying to please or ‘appease’ others, had by default, caused created stress and self doubt. I would often think to myself that maybe if I gave more of 'this' or gave more of 'that', I would not only make a difference in my intention but I would BE the difference! This state of mind carried over into other areas of my life and it didn't take long for me to realize that I was causing more harm to myself by feeding into such impossible notions. I inevitably reached a phase in life, where I felt extremely sad and lonely. After each moment of ‘superficial acceptance’ (meaning; people who like you and accept you as long as they benefit from you and your offerings), I would feel more alienated and out of alignment. I had to stop and go to the root of what was driving this notion in my mind and it wasn't long before I realized that this was all tied to baggage and residuals from my childhood and certain relatives who were supposed to love, nurture and guide me. The long term results of my ‘need to please’ definitely created pain and disappointment but ironically, it was these things that helped to bring me closer to my purpose and resolve to break this dis-ease. In this cycle, I will share links, articles, videos that may certainly help you to rid yourself of not only a ‘need to please’ but tips and advice on how to release baggage and relationships that are feeding such a deceptive and vicious cycle.
“You really didn't see the sadness or the longing unless you already knew it was there. But that was the trick, wasn't it? Everyone had their disappointment and their baggage; only, some people carried it in their inside pockets and not on their backs.”
LETTING GO OF THINGS THAT ARE NO LONGER SERVING YOU
When we find things that we want in life, we sometimes hold on so tightly for fear that we will lose it. At times, our minds can make us believe we need these belongings, situations, and relationships, and out of this fear we hold on to them for dear life. What I’m here to tell you, this week, is that clinging on to anything is simply not attractive. Much like when you have those pesky dryer sheets clinging to your freshly laundered clothes, when you cling (and cling for dear life) you are energetically sending an unattractive message to the Universe.
When we hold on to these things that we think we need, we let go of the trust and faith that we are always supported. It is natural for things to come in and out of our lives, and the lesson is to trust when it’s time to let some things go. This has been one of the hardest lessons for me, and one that I am still struggling with now. Read more…
10 GUILT-FREE STRATEGIES FOR SAYING NO
Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of "the disease to please." "Saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout. You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time," says author Duke Robinson. Here's how to do the right thing―for yourself and others―in 10 common scenarios where you know that opting out is your best option. Don't feel guilty. Just take these tips from experts on etiquette and communication―and a cue from your favorite two-year-old―and say no.
Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet
Request: A friend in need asks for a Trump-worthy loan.
What you should say: "I wish I could, but as a rule, I don't lend money to friends."
Why it works: It's clear that you are not singling out this person as untrustworthy.
Why you shouldn't feel guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says communications trainer Don Gabor. "It can change the nature of your relationship if the person doesn't pay you back."
How to avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends and you won't get a reputation as a walking, breathing ATM.
ABB's SPOTLIGHT VIDEO
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